The Madra
by electricskye
Summary: She was named for the bright tiny moon of the Yeerk home world. She began as a young and insignificant human girl. She became among the most feared and honored humans of both Earth and the Yeerk Empire. This is her story.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any part in any way of the Animorphs. They belong to K.A. Applegate. But you knew that, right?

This is not a story for happy perky people. Leave this story, or it will leave your optimism in ruins. Dun-dun-dun!!

That being said. Reviews are welcomed with open arms, critisism is fine, and flames are to be endured. Have fun, kids! (note the sarcasm.)

**_Chapter 1_**

My name is Madra.

It's not a name you've heard of often. I don't really like it myself.

But it is not my name that is of importance, though it is a good starting and ending place for me.

No, it is my story, a story never told until now.

I was named after the small moon of the Yeerk home planet. Yeerks are vile creatures who enslave others by crawling into their ears and wrapping themselves around your brain. They're nothing more than slugs, really. Slugs with the power to you do exactly as they bid. I've seen them control every twitch, every look, and every speech you make. It's as if…you don't exist anymore. It's all Yeerk. It's your body, your hands, it's you, but it's not you. It's a slug.

I should know. I was a Controller. A controller is someone controlled by the Yeerks. And I was a Controller…for nine years.

I grew up a Controller. Barely a month after I was born, I was taken. I don't think there was a moment in my life after that month, where I was not kept under supervision. Constant supervision still is horrible. I couldn't do anything privately. And anytime I did, there really was a little voice in my head taunting me.

I couldn't cry. I couldn't throw temper tantrums or anything normal month-olds could do. So I've never shed a tear in my whole life. I was learning about the Yeerk Empire when I should've been eating formula. I was trying to understand battle tactics when I should've been learning my ABC's. Before I learned to stand and walk, I was ordering others into war. I was a Visser at age four.

The Yeerk in my head moved out. I shouldn't have had a Yeerk in my head in the first place. A human child was not a suitable host for a Yeerk, but they couldn't risk me knowing so much. They needed to keep me under control. A hungry, gibberish-speaking baby who wailed all the time was not appreciated. Besides, the first Yeerk given to me was of lowly station. He slowly worked his way up.

The same went for the next Yeerk who enslaved me. For the next two years, I watched as Atrass 669 became bloodthirsty Visser Thirty-nine. Then another Yeerk came. It was only a year before he was Visser Twenty-four. And again and again. The cycle never stopped.

I had seen more blood than any child should. I had sacrificed whole armies in the name of the Yeerk Empire. I watched as people were tortured without flinching. And I had killed random strangers myself. The blood of so many people was on my hands.

And the sad thing was, I didn't know better. I had no idea I could've had another life. I grew up in this life, and maybe I could've been different, but I didn't know. I didn't know of happiness or family or the people on Earth. And on a ship full of other aliens enslaved by the Yeerks, like the Hork-Bajir or the Taxxons or the Gedds, I found myself without friends. I was a one of a kind freak. I was too young, a female, and a leader. I was different. I hated this, but I learned to accept it. I couldn't remember anything different.

And all I could remember of that one month before I was taken was the fever I had. The Yeerks, of course, were able to give me an antiviral shot, but I could still remember feeling faint and sick. I remembered voices all around me. I still do not know if that was Controller or human. I remembered peering up into the face of a woman I was sure was my mother. Allison Kim was her name. I had her black hair and black eyes, but my father's pale skin and mouth. It was my first and last glimpse of my mother. And even then, I am sure it was the Yeerk who smiled down at me.

I still treasure that moment. Not because it was the only time I saw my mother, but because it was the only moment in which I didn't know the Yeerks. And to me, that was pure bliss.

Of all people, it was Darwin who told me. My own twin brother had been tracked down and captured by the Yeerks, because Allison Kim was once the host of Visser One. Visser One had loved another Yeerk, and Allison had loved the Hildy Gervais, the human host of Essam, the Yeerk Visser One had loved. Of course, Allison was now dead, and Visser One was leading the invasion of the Yeerks. Essam was dead, and his host, Hildy went straight to the asylum. I had no family, except for Darwin. He told me about Earth, my home planet, whom I had not set foot on for near of a decade. When our Yeerks went to feed, to soak up the Kandrona rays, their natural food they must return to every three days, he and I would talk inside our cages. There wasn't much else to do. At first, he would scream at the guards until his voice went hoarse. I wasn't like that. Rebellion was new to me. I had never tried it. But Darwin gave me hope. He would keep on trying, and trying. I watched him, and admired how resilient he was. And soon, I was plotting ways to escape with him.

My mind was on it at all times. My Yeerk would sneer at my plans, and soon I realized I couldn't just think of it. I needed to take my mind off of it whenever my Yeerk was around. I needed to stop the Yeerk from seeing my plans. And, oh it was hard. It was like climbing up from the quicksand. I had been pushed deep down into the sand, so deep, that not only could I hardly see the light, but I didn't even know there was a light. It took so much for me to wait to try. I worked so hard, each escape, any escape. Each time, my plan would fail and my light was taken from me. I didn't care. I would fight until I died. My death would be my choice. If I didn't get a choice until the very end, I was determined that would be it.

Darwin worked hard too. And it was so painful for him to realize he wouldn't get out the day I got out. It would've killed me to watch someone else run off like that.

I had escaped from the Yeerk pool, the place where Yeerks came to feed. I had done the impossible. But I had to leave Darwin behind. He was caught, because he pushed me out of the way, as a Hork-Bajir Controller, an alien the Yeerks have conquered, tried to catch me. But as he pushed me, he was taken in my stead.

But he still told me to run. When I close my eyes, I still remember his voice cheering me on, calling for me to run. He was my only friend and my brother who had earlier told me to kill him if he was infested, whenever I got the chance. Yet he was willing to let himself be captured for me.

Darwin had always been fearless, reckless, and temperamental. He had also always been kinder, and softer-hearted than I was. If it had been me, I probably wouldn't have done the same.

So I ran, freed from the Yeerks at last.

That is where my story starts.

Didn't I tell you this would be depressing? No, I don't usually write stories like this, but I thought a good depressing story might make a good impression. snort

Ok, do me the favor and review it for Madra's sake.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Obviously, I own nothing of the Animorphs, its all K.A. Applegate, bless her soul.

Ok, this get less depressing, and more stupid. But what can a girl do when she's lost in the woods and has no former knowledge of Earth?

As always, remember to press the pretty blue button on the bottom of the screen to review. Flames and criticism won't kill me so I'll endure it.

Enjoy.

**_Chapter 2_**

I couldn't run anymore. I couldn't even think anymore.

I collapsed onto the ground, panting, and squinting into the dark.

I was in a large area with many trees. It was called a…tree place? Where had I come up with that word?

No, that wasn't it. Darwin had told me about these. He said the Andalite bandits lived in here. The Andalites were aliens who fought against the Yeerks. However, the Andalite fleet had not reached Earth yet. So while the Yeerks tried to take over Earth, a small group of Andalites fought to hold them off. So far, we knew they adapted to Earth culture and had spies among us.

I had a total of two options. I could find the Yeerks and turn myself over. I could find the Andalite bandits and fight with them. And I could pick the third really-not-an-option option: death.

Life was good, wasn't it?

I leaned against the tree. It wasn't very comfortable, but I admit I was fascinated. The tree was beautiful. It had many, many green flat and thin disks, supported by thin and thick brownish limbs. The main body of the tree was also brown, but much thicker, and had such an interesting texture. I peered closely.

The texture…did it have a pattern? It was so complicated. Earth truly was lovely. I wished I had spent more time here than on that horrible spacecraft. It had been a literal prison for me. But here…everything was different here.

I took a deep sniff. The air was different here, too.

I heard a noise. I turned quickly, looking around. Was it an Andalite bandit?

"Andalite?" I whispered nervously and fearfully. They are scary creatures.

I yelped as I saw a small brown creature with a bushy tail appear. It ran nimbly across the meadow. I marveled at how fast it went.

There was a screech. And then a blur of red-brown scooped up the brown, bushy-tailed creature. It wailed until I heard its neck break.

The red-brown creature flew over to a tree, and sat on a thick brown limb-like thing.

It took my breath away. I watched, repulsed, yet fascinated as the red-brown animal tore apart the once-living bushy-tailed creature with savagery and gobbled it up. It had wings that were covered with a small pattern of flat narrow disks. Its feet were like a Hork-Bajir's, only orangey-yellow. Its mouth was also like a Hork-Bajir's. The whole creature was savage and wild and would've been dangerous if not for its small size. It was smaller than me, yet it managed to catch a small quick creature and ate it as if it did this everyday.

This was Earth, then. I shivered. It was beautiful and complex and dangerous.

I'll admit I was scared, but also proud. Earth wouldn't go down without a fight. And neither would I.

Right then and there, I promised to myself that I would be like that creature there. I would be like all of the creatures in here. I would be fast and dangerous. The Yeerks, all of them, would fear me above anything else.

It then occurred to me, that the creature I was staring at could've been an Andalite in morph. Of course! Darwin had told me about the shapes the Andalites could take on.

Andalites have the technology that allows them to change shape, to morph. They can acquire another's DNA and use that to change into that creature. One of the Andalites morphed a creature such as this. What was it called? I searched my mind for the name. It was a kind of hawk…a red-tail hawk. I decided to talk to it.

"Hello, friend Andalite." I smiled carefully to the hawk, holding my hands in front of me. "I mean no harm." I hoped this would work.

The hawk looked at me like I was an idiot. I probably was. What were the chances that this was the tree-place the Andalites lived in? There were hundreds of tree-places on Earth. What were the chances that an Andalite would be in this morph? For all I knew, this could be a random animal. Besides, Andalites were herbivores. They wouldn't go after Earth animals like that.

Still I decided to wait for two hours. Andalite technology only allowed them to stay two hours in a morph at a time, or else they would be trapped in that body forever. So at the end of two hours, I would see an Andalite appear from that body. Well, if it was an Andalite.

After two hours of sitting in that meadow and doing nothing, I felt ridiculous. I was an idiot. No way was an Andalite about to appear. This probably wasn't even the right tree-place! I didn't even know the correct word for a "tree-place"!

I was doomed to die here. I watched as the hawk flew off. I felt unaccustomed to this hunger in my stomach, the weakness in my bones. The enemy had always been inside of me. This was different.

I wouldn't let the Yeerks find me alive. I'd rather die than that. I'd rather starve to death…But oh, the pain was so intense! I gasped as waves of agony rolled over me. I had to eat.

But how could I know which creatures could be eaten, and which couldn't? How did I know that one of the Andalites weren't one of the animals in disguise?

I looked down at the grass. Andalites ate that. I wondered if I could.

I pulled up a handful of grass and stuffed it into my mouth. It tasted awful, but at least my stomach wasn't as empty.

Six days I had been out here. I was surprised some Earth creature hadn't come by and gobbled me up. But it seemed most of them didn't like humans as their meal. They didn't bother me, I didn't bother them. Some of the most timid seemed to also take the pains to hide from me. On the other hand, without a weapon, I couldn't kill anything to eat.

A few days ago, I passed some round shaped things that one of my Yeerks had mentioned. They were called berries and I remembered that they were edible. I ate them and ended up vomiting most of my stomach during the rest of the day. Apparently, some types of berries were not so healthy for humans. Go figure.

Since then, I had steered clear of most plant life.

I pulled up some more grass. If only I had grabbed a weapon on the way out! A Dracon beam for instance. That would've been helpful, since they did the job cleanly and efficiently. What had I thinking? Anything would've been better than nothing.

I chewed thoughtfully on the grass blades. Ever since getting out of the Yeerk pool, I had been relishing every thought of privacy, every moment of freedom. The simple act of blinking had me near tears. I had never known about such sweet, sweet freedom like this. No one needed to control me.

But now I was realizing what I should've realized long ago: that without the Yeerks I was potentially helpless. I was nothing without them.

I cursed. Where were the Andalite bandits when I needed them? Didn't they appear out of nowhere? That was what I heard some of the Controllers whispering about. They spoke about this or that latest attack by a gang of Andalites disguised as Earth creatures. How they would strike quickly and efficiently, and then retreat and disappear without a trace. I pulled up another handful of grass and put it into my mouth.

I gagged. I felt something squirming around inside my mouth…something small and alive. It bit my tongue hard.

I spat it out. Among the half-chewed grass blades, I saw a small black creature with six legs and a small deadly mandibles crawl out.

I felt my stomach reject the grass. I ran to nearest bush and bent over.

I retched and retched, wondering how I had once been feared and respected as I walked down the Blade ship because of the Yeerk in my head. Now I was reduced to vomiting in the bushes. It was humiliating.

I heaved until there was nothing more to heave. And still my stomach was contracting.

I flopped down on the ground, my stomach aching. Sunset was coming. I had made it a point to always watch the colorful explosion of colors. Even if I died, at least I would be able to remember one good thing about Earth.

However, the last few days I had strained to see its magnificent colors above the trees. This time, I would see it without such obstructions. Goal: I would climb a tree.

Hork-Bajir simply leaped to the tops. Smaller Hork-Bajir grabbed onto the limb-like things on the tree and pulled themselves up. I would do the same.

I looked up at the tree, and grabbed a small thin brown limb-like part. I pulled and tried to get up but the limb broke. There was no blood. It just came apart cleanly in my hand. I staggered back, gasping, looking down from the limb to the tree and ran.

At the edge of the meadow, I looked back fearfully. Was the tree alive? Would it chase after me, after I had torn off part of it? I watched the tree carefully. Would it spring alive now? I tensed.

Trees on the Hork-Bajir world were alive but did that mean the trees on this world were? Trees on the Hork-Bajir world usually didn't move around, but I had heard that some could. I shuddered.

I felt something touch my head. I screamed, whipped around and saw a tree waving its limbs at me. I threw the limb I was still holding at the tree and ran further.

I was terrified, as I ran further and further. I couldn't breath. The trees- were they all connected? Did they all know that I had broken one of them? Were they all out to get me?

They had to be. Why else would that tree hit me in the head?

Or could it have been the wind?

I collapsed against another tree, and then backed away. Would this one also try to kill me?

No, I had to get out of this tree-place. I was not safe here. Maybe the trees were alive, maybe they weren't, but I couldn't take that chance.

I just remember a blur of green and brown, as I ran like never before. And then I saw a blur of blue racing towards me.

I slammed into a blue wall, and fell on the ground. A seven-fingered blue hand reached out to me. I looked at it, and then slowly looked up.

Hello. said the Andalite.

So concludes the second chapter for Madra. Hopefully, the Andalite will be nice and won't chop her head off. Then again, her luck ain't been too good, has it?

Ok, now go review. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but flames will never hurt me. (I hope.)


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: You know, KA Applegate owns this, not me. All that junk.

So, here we finally meet the Animorphs. Let's hope Madra doesn't make such a fool of herself.

Now this is semi-depressing. And at the end, it's actually kinda contented. That's new.

Just remember the blue button down on the bottom of the screen. Madra will be very happy with you. ;)

**_Chapter 3_**

My eyes were wide open. My mouth also hung open.

You'd think I'd be prepared for this.

Andalites look a bit human. They have the normal human body, up until the legs. They have a body similar to a herd of creatures with hooves that I noticed around here. It is hard to explain if you have not seen it.

Andalites have bluish fur all over their bodies, with different shades depending on their age and gender. They have no mouths, and use their hooves to eat and drink. They only have a slit for a nose, and four green eyes.

Yes, four eyes. I find it peculiar as well. The two main eyes are set in the head the same way human eyes are. But the other two eyes are mounted on two small stalks on the top of the head.

Finally, the part of an Andalite you should really always watch out for. The tail of an Andalite is dangerous. It has a blade on the end of it, and since Andalite tails are so strong and long, they can slice off part of you quicker than you can think.

I know. I've seen it.

You see, while the Andalites fight the Yeerks, one had been captured by the Yeerks many years before. He was War-Prince Alloran-Semitur-Corass. He was respected, until he massacred thousands of Hork-Bajir so the Yeerks could not enslave their bodies. And then he was taken by the Yeerks.

He was infested by Esplin 9466. The Yeerk that is now called Visser Three. The Yeerk I served under all my life, and who took away my childhood. He wants to take over Earth, and use the humans as host bodies. He has fought the Andalite bandits often.

But Visser Three is formidable. He will stop at nothing to get what he wants. And along with being the only Andalite Controller ever, he also has all of Alloran's experience and fighting abilities, and his morphs.

Most of the time the Andalite bandits run when they see Visser Three morph into some hideous creature from a far off planet. It seems no Earth animal has ever defeated the Visser in morph.

"Andalite?" I whispered.

The Andalite's eyes narrowed and his tail whipped forward.

(Yeerk!) He snarled. I heard his voice in my head. All Andalites use telepathy to speak.

Too late I realized my mistake. He thought I was a Yeerk. Of course, any normal human would not know what he was. Only human-Controllers would correctly identify him as an Andalite. Stupid of me.

I stayed very, very still. I could feel the tail blade on my neck. One twitch and I wouldn't have a head anymore. I needed my head.

"I am not a Yeerk." I said calmly. The Andalite's eyes narrowed further. "I was once a Controller, but I escaped from the Yeerk pool." I held my breath. Hopefully he would believe me. Really, really hopefully.

The Andalite was silent for a moment. He seemed to be considering this.

I tapped my foot on the ground softly. He was taking a long time to consider this.

(Come with me.) He said at last and turned around. I noticed his eye stalks watching me. I also knew his friends were also probably watching.

As he trotted off, I wondered if I knew what I was getting into. The Andalite was probably leading me to his prince, his leader. This Andalite looked hardly to be more than a few years old, a teenager in Earth standards. Though his face was awfully familiar as well.

We walked towards a meadow where a red-tail hawk perched. The Andalite stopped beneath the tree, as four other hawks flew down. They perched in different limb-like things. I cringed, hoping that the trees would not come alive and hit me again.

(What do we have here?) I heard. I looked around, trying to determine from who the voice came from. Useless, I knew. You couldn't tell.

(She says she is not a Controller and that she escaped from the Yeerk pool.) There was silence. I bit my lip.

(How can we know for sure?) I saw the eyes of the Andalites boring in on me.

"Well, you could kill me, as I am sure your friend here is very willing to do." I said as I eyed the young Andalite who was indeed twitching. I saw the small gray bird glare at him, and he stopped. Was that bird the leader then?

It was time to lay my cards out. I couldn't afford to find the Andalites, and then be killed by them. I needed to convince them that I was important. "But frankly, that would be a waste. Especially," I drawled. "Since I have information you may be interested in."

(What information?) This time, I could tell it was from the gray bird. He was definitely their leader. And he was hooked.

I stepped into the middle of the meadow, closer to the gray bird, without him being directly aware of it. "It has been six days since I last saw the Yeerk pool. I can give you information on the Yeerk's newest project. I can tell you what Visser Three is up to." I narrowed my eyes and lifted my head. "Your spies wouldn't have this information. Not this detailed, anyways. My Yeerk was high-ranking and was an essential part of it. I can tell you all of this…" I let that trail, and looked the gray bird in the eye. "The question is: will you listen?" I said quietly. Let them consider that.

The Andalite looked back at me, unafraid. I smiled inwardly. Good. Here was a strong leader. I was afraid I was dealing with some insane person. Then I would have a problem. But people like this considered things greatly. I might yet be saved.

I could tell they were discussing the situation quietly, in private thought-speak, a form of telepathy. I sat on the ground and reclined. Let them think it out. They knew where I stood. I thought I knew where they stood. All I needed was for them to make the decision I knew they would.

Then- (We have reached a decision.)

I stood up quickly, but casually, and brushed pieces of grass from my shoulders.

(We have decided to let you tell us this information.) I nodded. I had expected this. (Under one condition-)

I sighed. I had expected this too.

(We will watch you for three days, just to make sure.)

"Fine." I said quickly. "You shall know the truth soon, anyways."

(Wait.) I heard another bird say. Not the leader this time. It was another one. (You'll want something in return, won't you?)

I smiled. "Clever Andalite. But what could you possibly give me that you have?"

The birds looked at each other again. But before they could say anything, I raised my hand. "Wait. There is something you can do for me." I looked up at them.

"I want to fight the Yeerks."

There was silence. Then a kind voice asked me. (How old are you?)

"In Earth years? I am nine years old."

(You're a bit young-)

"And yet, your friend here is scarcely more than a few Andalite years old. But I've seen him fight against Visser Three himself. I see no reason why you, a small hunted band of Andalites on an unfamiliar planet, not knowing when the Yeerks will strike next, I find it strange that you would decline another member. Especially one who knows the Yeerks."

There was another silence. I had them now. They would think seriously about this.

(We-) The voice of the leader sounded shaken. Was their argument that bad? (We shall discuss this with you tomorrow. For now-) He looked at the young Andalite. (Aximili will share his scoop with you.)

Lovely. But who was I to complain when I was starving to death a few minutes ago and running from killer trees?

(Prince J-) The Andalite protested but was cut short.

(That's an order, Aximili.) To me, he said. (We will bring you food and water. You are hungry, I suppose?)

My stomach gave a loud rumble. I laughed. "It sounds like it."

(Fine. We will speak with you later.) Translation: _We haven't finished interrogating you yet._

With that all four of the birds flew off.

I looked at the young Andalite. He didn't seem particularly thrilled. (Well,) I heard the red-tail hawk say who, for some reason had not left, (I guess I'll bring you over to Ax's scoop.)

"And you will, of course, be watching me?"

(Of course.)

"And they will bring food soon?" I asked, trying to keep the anxiety from showing. But the hawk must have heard it anyways, because he laughed and said. (Yeah, they will. One good thing about Andalites is that they always keep their promises.) He paused, and in a gentler tone asked, (How long has it been since you've last eaten?)

I thought back. "At least six days."

(You spent six days out here without food?) He sounded shocked. (It's a miracle you're alive!)

"It's a miracle I'm here at all." I interjected dryly. We arrived at the scoop.

It was small and had a semi-covered roof. It contained a television, clothing, a World Almanac, and a picture of a Cinnamon Bun. I was going to ask, but decided I didn't want to know.

Even though it was small, it had more than enough room for Aximili and me to sleep in it. (You can sleep here.) Aximili said.

Aximili? Where had I heard that name?

I clicked. "Your brother, was he Prince Elfangor-Sirinial-Shamtul?"

(Yes.) He said curtly, and turned away.

"He would've been proud of you." I said to his back. Slowly, every so slowly, I saw his eye stalks looking at me. So I had part of his attention. I talked on. "He was one of the greatest Andalite warriors ever. We always heard stories of Elfangor's most recent attacks. They were always severe blows to the Yeerk Empire. And even though he wasn't one of our people, we were always cheering him on. The Yeerks feared him above all other Andalites."

(Did you- know my brother well?) The Andalite looked at me with his main eyes now.

"Not well, but since my Yeerk was of high-ranking, I had to fight him once or twice. He was a formidable opponent. He nearly killed me several times. And after that, all I had to do was say his name to make my Yeerk shudder." I smiled at the memory. "The day he died was a sad day for the rest of us. The Yeerks may have forced us to laugh at his death, but inside, we all cried. He would've been proud that his own brother carries on his legacy."

Aximili nodded and straightened himself. (I will make him proud.) He hesitated. (You don't mind if I have a moment to myself?)

"No, no. Go ahead."

He galloped off. By now, I realized that the red-tail hawk and several other hawks were listening in.

(Good story to tell him.) said the red-tail hawk. (We all admire Elfangor.)

(Here.) said another voice. Several bars were thrown onto the ground. I approached them cautiously and picked them up. They were covered in some sort of plastic crinkly covering.

"What is it?" I asked, turning them around.

(Don't they have candy bars on the Yeerk ships?) The voice asked, sounding amused. (Go on, eat it.)

I bit. "It's a bit hard to eat." I called out.

(Uh, that's the wrapper you're trying to eat there.) The red-tail hawk sounded like he was trying not to laugh.

"Of course." I said quickly, and ripped it.

Underneath was some dark hard food. I bit into that.

My eyes nearly popped out. It was amazing food. It was better than anything I had ever tasted! It had a rich thick flavor melted on my tongue.

I swallowed and quickly ate another. And another.

(Slow down.) laughed the voice. (You'll get a stomachache.)

I swallowed and then began to eat much slower. I did not want to have another aching stomach and throw up everything again. "Of course. Thank you for you advice."

(No problem. You don't need anything else, do you?)

I looked to the horizon, but the sun had already set. Oh well, maybe another day. "No, I am fine."

(Ok, then I'm outta here now.) The birds flew away, leaving the red-tail hawk with me.

(I'll be over there, ok?) He said. I nodded. He flew off.

I waited for a while, sleepy and for once, full. I was- what was the word? Happy? No, of course not, I had never known pure happiness besides that one moment when I looked up into my mother's face. No, I was just contented. A small emotion, yet I was glad to feel it now.

Aximili came back. He went into the scoop and watched me eat. He settled on the ground and watched me recline and close my eyes.

Well, technically, I was still being watched. I didn't really care about that. It wasn't like I was going to pull something off now. How stupid did they think I was?

(I-) I heard the Andalite falter, and then regain his voice. (I want to thank you for-) He hesitated again.

"For what I said? No problem." I said with my eyes still closed.

(Yes.) He seemed uncomfortable. (You- What is your name?)

I thought for a moment. Why give away my biggest secret yet? "Call me Madi." I said.

(Madi. If you attempt to try anything, know that my tail blade will be at your throat and may not be so kind this time.)

And with that happy thought, we went to sleep.

* * *

Wasn't that a nice ending? Ok it was the best I could actually do without making it cheesy.

Remember, reviews are to be loved, but flames and criticism are also appreciated- somewhat.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Do I really need to repeat this? KA Applegate rules and owns, I don't. yada yada yada.

This is the depressing chapter in which Madra gets to meet the Animorphs and become one and no one trusts her because she trusts no one. It is kinda short and all, but the next chapter is kinda crazy and long, so it makes up for this.

I'd like to thank metamorphstorm and Ember Nickel for all their reviews. You guys RULE.

The rest of you, thanks so much for reading this and- aw man now I'm getting weepy.

Review/criticize/flame, I really don't care as long as you write something.

Love you all.

_**Chapter 4**_

"You're humans."

It was the first thing I could say when I saw the Andalite- no, the humans standing there, as they demorphed from their bird states.

We were in a barn. It looks like a red house, with bundles of golden grass everywhere. The place was filled with lots of creatures in cages. Most of them were injured in some way or other. I wanted to ask why they were in there. The only time I had ever seen cages were to keep prisoners in. It didn't make sense for them to keep prisoners.

I hit myself over the head. "Oy! Obviously! Of course!"

The humans looked at me with slightly concerned looks. "I should've known." I explained to them. "All this time, all those attacks, all the secrets-" I paused. "You always were in morph. We never saw more than two Andalites at a time, Andalites who looked the same as well."

"You can't tell anyone." The black-haired and dark-skinned boy said, with narrow eyes.

I waved my hand impatiently. "Of course not. And give Visser Three a way to capture you? I'd sooner die."

"Ooh, I like her." The tall golden-haired girl announced.

"You would." The boy shot back. "Psycho meets psycho…this ought to be good."

The brown-haired boy raised his hand before they could begin to argue. "Listen, we do have a situation here. And we don't need any complications. We need to discuss about- sorry, what's your name?"

I was wondering when we'd get to this. "It's…Madi." I still didn't give out my true name. I knew what would happen if I did. No doubt the Andalite knew all the names of the Yeerk moons.

"I'm Jake." The brown-haired boy said. "This is my cousin Rachel," the golden-haired girl nodded lazily. "Cassie," the short, dark-skinned girl waved. "And Marco." The black-haired boy glared. "You've met aristh Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill." Jake continued, "Though it's easier to call him Ax. And that's Tobias." He pointed to the red-tail hawk.

I looked up at Tobias, a question in my eyes. He answered it. (I'm a nothlit.)

I raised my eyebrow. A nothlit was someone who had gone over the two-hour limit in a morph and would stay in that morph forever.

(But I've regained my morphing powers through the Ellimist.) I nodded slowly. The Eliimist was some god who was said to only be in myths. Others said he was real.

"Ok, now that we know each other's names, we can get down to business." Jake said. "We have a few things to discuss with you, Madi. First off, you want to fight with us."

(Unacceptable.) said Ax straight off. (You are young and hardly know of the dangers.)

"On the contrary, I am extremely aware of the dangers and my age is irrelevant." I countered.

"You've never fought before." Rachel pointed out.

(It's a hard life. You'll have to make sacrifices.) Tobias pointed out. (What happened to me- it could happen to any one of us.)

"You'd have to kill others." Cassie spoke softly. I remembered her voice from the night before. "You'd have to face your fears."

"Can you do all that?" Jake asked. "Can you survive it?"

I stared at them. They were being way too collective, too calm and orderly. They were all against me joining, and it wasn't just because I was too young…

"This has happened before hasn't it?" I asked. "You've told someone else about this. What happened to him?"

They exchanged looks. "What?" Jake asked.

"There was a child from a while back. Visser Three suspected you had made him one of yours. His name was David. What happened to him?"

It was Marco who spoke. "He betrayed us. He tried to kill us. He wanted the blue box." His voice was ice cold. "And you know what happened to him?" He looked straight at me.

"We trapped him in morph. He's a white rat now, living out his days on a deserted island." Marco glared at me. And for some reason, that glare, that face, so familiar….

"He deserved it. That's what happened to him." And he settled back onto the golden grass.

All the other humans looked slightly shocked. Obviously, this Marco person wasn't always so morbid. He did have an amazingly strategic mind.

But I understood his hidden threat. _Turn on us, and we'll do to you what we did to him._

I honestly didn't mind. I had received worst.

"Understood, Marco." I returned his look. Then I looked at the rest of the humans. "I can do this. If I couldn't, I wouldn't even be here now. You don't know what the Yeerks did. You don't know what I had do to get through it." I paused. "I can do it." I said simply.

Jake sighed, and ran his fingers through his hair. "Let's put this to a vote."

(I say yes.) Tobias called. (It sounds like she can handle this.)

"I can't sentence anyone to this life." Cassie smiled sadly at me. "I'm sorry; Madi, but I don't think so…"

"Well, I think we should have a new member." Rachel flipped her hair. "She'll do well."

Jake nodded. "Ax?"

(No.) They all looked at each other. Marco raised an eyebrow. "Just curious, Ax, but why?"

(Because of David.) Ax said simply. (The risk…it is too great.)

I put that into the back of my mind. Apparently, this David thing had hurt all of them pretty badly. Even the Andalite had been hurt, and Andalites don't hurt easily.

"Fine." Jake said. "Marco?"

His eyes were unemotional. "No."

"Well, then-" Jake started.

In that moment, I knew. I knew which way Jake would go. He couldn't have a tie, so he would go with the side that had the most votes, even though he wasn't very happy with that result. I knew which side would win, and I could see that Marco knew, too. He smirked.

My hands curled into fists. No. I would not let this boy, Marco, win.

Luckily, I had a plan.

I interrupted. "Excuse me, but I was wondering Jake." Jake looked over at me patiently. "You have six members of the team and it seems there may be a tie." My hands started to sweat. I was nervous. I didn't know these people well. There was only a slight chance this would work. Otherwise, I'd look like a fool. I couldn't afford that.

"So I propose that we have one more vote. I propose that I cast my vote."

Instantly, there was a "No." Marco had seen through my plan.

Before Jake could answer, I swung around and demanded, "Why not?"

Marco looked shocked at my defiance, but answered, "You aren't exactly part of the team yet. And last I checked, this was a team vote." He looked at Jake who carefully kept his face in check.

"Yes, and last I checked this vote was about me. It makes no sense that I cannot play a part in this. I should have a choice in my future." I spoke confidently, mocking Marco with my eyes. He flared up instantly.

"You're acting exactly like David did, you little-"

"Marco, that's enough." Jake ordered, and Marco fell quiet. He gave me a level look. "Of course you can vote. But for future reference, I suggest you try not to start a commotion when you're part of my team."

I kept my voice level, and my face blank, as I answered, "No worries, Jake. I'll do exactly as you say."

The leader was smarter than I had thought. He knew what I was up to. I'd have to watch out and stop underestimating.

Jake sighed. He knew as well as I what the outcome of this would be. I had won this small battle. It was a victory, but was it worth too much?

Ax held out a blue box as Jake said, "Welcome to the Animorphs."

* * *

Did you like it? Review and tell me.

Poor Madra. I mean, it can't be easy for her. But at the same time, I feel bad for the Animorphs. The David thing hurt them. They're not ready to trust. And neither is Madra.

Depressing, I know. Don't worry, the next chapter will be better.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I own nothing of the Animorphs. I heap all of the glory to K.A. Applegate.

Sorry for the delay. Weekends are my busiest. Weird, huh?

This is the way my brain worked: I was feeling thoughtful today. Feeling thoughtful leads to thinking deep thoughts. Deep thoughts lead to...well, this chapter.

Anyways.

Remember, these are my thoughts on the Yeerks. They are all probably bizarre and weird and make absolutely no sense at all, so feel free to yell at me in your review, because they really don't make any sense, now that I read this over. I wrote in a fit of creative genius that turned out to be...not so genius-y.

So have fun yellin-er, reading.

**_Chapter Five_**

It was the third day.

The third day I was being watched. I was bored. It was only yesterday, when I first received my morphing power. I couldn't use it though. I hadn't acquired anyone's DNA yet.

I was sitting on the ground, thinking. There wasn't anything else to do.

Of course, I much preferred this to sitting in Visser Three's Blade ship, scared to death, and annoyed at my Yeerk's comments. I mean, you can only go on for so long before a Yeerk's comments get boring.There wasn't any humiliating memories for my Yeerks to sift through. There were no dreams for the future. There was nothing that the Yeerk could use against me. So, when they all finally admitted that I couldn't be subdued that way, they resorted to taunts.

Yawn. Been there, done that. I mean, most every comment the Yeerks had ever thought of had been thrown at me before. Nothing new, really. Once in a while, there would be the actual creative Yeerk, and that it was slightly entertaining to listen to the new stuff, then laugh at him. You'd think they would spend more of their time thinking of smart comments.

Now, I was a far different kind of host. No Yeerk that was in my head was ever bored. No, I kept those Yeerks on their toes. Every second you slack off, is a second where I can seize control. Every moment when you stop messing around with my brain and give up on trying to humiliate me, I'm there, taunting you, laughing at your incompetence, messing up your mind. Every moment you think, _oh she's asleep_, guess what? I'm not. I'm there, waiting around the corner of my mind, ready to spring up, and get the chance to say "Boo!"

That was my life. It was all about finding ways to mess up the Yeerks. I was probably a major factor in why all the Yeerks I went through became either Vissers or went absolutely crazy. Every Yeerk contains a part of their hosts even after it leaves the host body. And I'll admit it: I was going crazy during my stay.

But I also understood Yeerk hierarchy and how to get to the top. I understood how to control troops and mess around with people's minds. I understood war. After me, they could control any host with a flick of their mind. After me, they had no problem being in control of their armies and fellow Yeerks.

My life was about control. Not physically, but mentally. I ruled the mind games. I knew all of the little tricks to twist around someone's words, to negotiate, and make someone feel and think a certain way. After all, how could I not know, when I had the greatest masters of the mind games to learn from: the Yeerks themselves?

But I ignored the inevitable. I ignored that I was losing control. I was slowly fading out. No surprise there. If you're treated as a host body all your life, then you become just that and only that: a host body. And after a while, the host's mind can take all it can take. Maybe the Hork-Bajir were better suited at being Controllers. Maybe the Taxxons could handle it. But the humans couldn't.

I would've lost myself completely, if it weren't for Darwin. I wanted to kill myself, because what is the point in life anymore, when you're just someone's slave, someone's puppet? It might've been the Yeerk controlling me, but it was my voice that called out for the murder of thousands, my eyes that was the last thing someone would see before they died, my face that everyone hated and respected. Thousands of times I berated myself for not seizing control when it was my body. Thousands of times I froze my heart against the hateful words that hit hard. Thousands of times I wanted to just give up.

But he was my voice of reason. He understood what I was going through, because he was going through it himself. And he sacrificed what little of his own courage he had to me. He could see I was dying. He could see I was giving up. But he didn't let me give up.

We didn't even know we were family when he first started helping me. I was just this loony stranger who he hardly knew. I was bitter and cold towards him. I hated him. I hated everyone. I wanted to cry, but I didn't know how to. I wanted to feel, but I didn't know how to. I wanted to melt my cold heart, but I just couldn't bear to. He was the one who helped me cope. He taught me what a family was.

Darwin's a lot nicer than me. If it had been me, I wouldn't have given him a single thought.

(Thinking deep thoughts?) I heard Cassie's voice. I had pinpointed her as the most caring in the group. Caring was the border line of weak and brave. It shared some traits with understanding, and understanding was the first step to cunning. But I couldn't tell with Cassie, exactly which group she belonged to. She didn't talk enough. Not like the boy Marco, who already was suspicious to a point of near paranoia, but had the smarts not to go crazy. But also not like the girl Rachel, who spoke her mind and was stood her ground. She was brave and strong to a point of foolishness and never stopped to think deeply about things. Tobias was the wary and thoughtful one, and Ax- well, he acted like any Andalite. Jake was the one I watched out for. He was strong, but not like Rachel's strength. He was cunning and suspicious, but not like Marco's. He had the mind of a general, a match for even my mind tricks.

So far, Jake was the biggest threat. But I could handle him.

"Yes." I said. "Just about my life before I escaped."

Cassie flitted down from the tree's limbs. She was that gray bird. I was still leery of those tree's but it appeared they were not exactly alive. I still didn't feel very comfortable near them.

(I honestly feel as if you're too young for this.) She admitted. (You're nine. But whenever I look in your eyes...I feel like you're older than that. You have Jake's eyes.)

I was only half-listening, still watching the tree, but started when I heard the last phrase. "What?"

(Jake's eyes. Not physically. But Jake...he's gone through a lot. His brother, Tom...he's one of them. Jake's had to make a lot of tough decisions in a short amount of time. We didn't do him any favors when we made him leader.)

"Then why did you?" I asked. I was half-curious, half-wanting-to-find-out-more.

(Jake's the kind of person who just acts like a leader. He's the only one who has the guts to make the right choice, no matter how hard it is. The only thing that he still can't decide is what he'll do if his brother comes after him.) Cassie sighed. (He acts like he knows what to do when that happens, but I know he doesn't.)

I felt a keen pain at Cassie's words, and a new bond with Jake. "My brother..." I murmured. "He was taken, too. His name was Darwin. And there was no other like him."

(Is he still...) I heard Cassie's hesitation.

"A Controller?" I supplied. "Yes, he still is." I honestly couldn't say anymore. I felt like I would choke if I did.

There was silence for a moment, where I composed myself. Then Cassie asked, (How long have you been a Controller?)

"Nine years-" I stopped. I swore inwardly, and hoped that Cassie wouldn't see my mistake.

No chance of that. She followed straight up with, (Then you've been a Controller for your entire life?)

"Not my entire life." I felt like kicking myself. Why had I let down my guard? Why had I permitted her to find out so much about me?

Would she notice if I lied?

Yes, she would. If she could observe her fellow team members so exactly, and tell me about her team without giving away anything major, if she could see through me and get so much information, and get me to let down my guard, then noticing my lies would be a cinch for her.

All I really had to do was not give her the whole truth. I had to give as little as possible, but no lies.

(That would explain your cultivated speech. You sound like Ax when you talk.) She said thoughtfully.

"That's what happens when you listen to cultivated speech in your head for nine years." I smiled weakly. If we could only stick to this subject, then I might be clear-

No chance of that again. (Is it normal for Yeerks to take such young hosts?)

"It is not unheard of." I avoided the question.

(I see. I know it's not any of my buisness, but why were you taken?)

I sighed. "It was because of my name." I said flatly.

(Madi's not a bad name.) She sounded puzzled.

"It isn't." Now I knew _this_ game. I relaxed a bit.

(Then-) Suddenly, Marco came crashing through the bushes. He was followed by Rachel and Tobias. I thanked my lucky stars.

"It wasn't my fault." He was protesting.

"He fell into the bushes." Rachel explained. Cassie flew to the ground and demorphed.

(How?) She asked.

"Ok, so this girl was six feet tall, ok?" Marco seemed to enjoy the attention. "And I was just walking by, and I didn't even do anything. She just swung my backpack into the bushes, just like that. I didn't do anything!"

Rachel looked at him. "She was six feet tall, huh?"

"Yeah! And then she knocks me into the bushes. She pushed me in headfirst! That's why I have berries in my pocket, and twigs in my hair. And it took me a while to get my hair just perfect, too." He concluded.

Tobias laughed. (Marco, she was shorter than you.)

"So?" Marco retorted. "Height has nothing to do with it!"

(You're right.) Tobias admitted. (But the fact that you asked her out does have something to do with it.)

"Perfectly normal thing to do."

"If it had been me, I would've stuffed your head in your lunch." Rachel said.

(And actually, I saw him trip and fall into the bushes.) Tobias continued. He glared at Marco. (Your shoelaces are untied.)

"You can't make me look. My shoelaces are perfectly fine." Marco countered.

We all stared at Marco's untied shoelaces. (Marco, your shoelaces are untied.)

Marco looked down and quickly tied the laces in a messy knot. "I knew that!"

"Sure you did." Rachel managed to say with a straight face.

Jake walked in with Ax. "What did I miss?"

"Nothing. You missed nothing." Marco said, cutting off both Rachel and Tobias.

Ax stared at Marco's head. (Marco? Is there a reason why you have small brown branches in your hair?)

"They're called twigs, Ax." Marco grabbed several and dropped them on the ground.

(I know. I have seen many different birds build their homes with them. Are you cultivating a home for Tobias?)

Marco swore loudly.

"Ok," Jake said loudly. "Can we do what we're supposed to do here?"

"What are we supposed to do?" I asked.

Jake looked at me. "It's been three days." He said.

"You're a full-fledged member of the Animorphs." Rachel grinned.

"Congrats." Marco managed to grunt.

"You're going to get your first morph." Jake told me. "Cassie has a lot of birds in her barn."

Cassie nodded. "We have a couple of merlins, an eagle, some goshawks, and a young red-tail." Jake, Cassie and me started walking away, as Marco said. "Hey Rachel, there's a dance on Saturday…"

There was a muffled thump, then a "Hey! Lemme outta here!"

Rachel appeared. Cassie sighed. "Ok, what did you do?"

"I shoved him into the bushes."

Cassie gave her a long look. "What really happened?"

Rachel sighed. "Ok, I shoved him; he glared at me, and tried to shove me. I stepped back and he tripped over his untied shoelaces and flew into the bushes." She saw me staring, and winked. "You can't blame a girl for trying."

Jake started back. "Where are you going, Jake?" Rachel called.

"To get Marco out."

(Marco's out of the bushes already, Jake.) Tobias was flying above us. He must've had amazing eyesight to hear and see us.

"But who's gonna stop him from tripping over and falling back in?"

"Well, Ax is with Marco." Cassie reminded him.

Jake groaned. "All the more reason to get over there."

(Yeah, Jake's right. I mean...ooh. Ouch! That was a hard fall.) Tobias commented.

Rachel and Cassie shook their head. "Boys." They laughed at the same time.

It still amazed me how Cassie managed to make me let down my guard. She had such a strange technique. She sounded as if she actually cared about me, as if she actually was curious about my life. But it was all a trick, wasn't it? It was all to startle me into giving information.

I thought again about the Yeerks. They thought that they could take down the humans. And at the time, I had thought the same, and despaired. But now, I saw different.

They call the humans Class Five, the perfect hosts, and they were. But only to a certain extent. We had all underestimated the humans. A human's body is probably the weakest creature on Earth. But they managed to rule Earth above all other creatures because of the strength of their minds. I almost thought of them as Yeerks. Weak bodies, strong minds. Humans were a rival, a match for the Yeerks. And humans were adaptable. Did the Yeerks seriously think that once humans were taken over, they would give up? Never. Marco had showed me that today. Fall down again, and again, yet he would never give up.

And did the Yeerks truly believe that humans would not adapt to this new life? I had spent only nine years with the Yeerks, and I knew how to mess them up. I almost wanted to see how long they would last against Cassie's methods. The Yeerks simply wouldn't manage against the humans.

A Hork-Bajir's mind is simple. A Taxxon's mind is simple. A Yeerk's mind is also simple. But a human's? Cassie had told me about how Jake's mind worked. All his feelings were mixed up with the cold hard calculations. How much more complex could a mind get?

And a complex mind is always the downfall of slavery.

The battle for Earth would be a turning point. No species had more of a chance against the Yeerks than the humans. No species was better suited for the Yeerks than the humans. One or the other would win. Not both. Only one or the other.

I thought about all of this as I walked with my friends, the strongest resistance on Earth. I absentmindedly traced a tree's bark and reveled in its complexity.

Earth was just as complex as the humans. The Yeerks would destroy such complexity.

If Earth didn't destroy the Yeerks first.

* * *

Dun-dun-dun!!

Stupid wasn't it? My creative genius bulb just burned out.

I have a feeling this contradicts a lot of other fan fictions, so now I'm nervous.

And yeah, I know I used the word cultivate more than twice in here. I like the word cultivate. cuuuulteeevaayte.

Alright, start yelling. I'm ready for the worst.

If I don't log in for a couple days, I'm probably crying over your review- no I'm kidding.

I really do like reading about your thoughts, no matter what they're about.

So review/ criticize/ flame, do what you do best.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I'd love to own the Animorphs, but sadly I don't. You know who does, the all-powerful being who is K.A. Applegate. sighs sadly

HAHA! I figured out how to do the brackets- no I don't. False alarm.

Ok, here we have some pointless humor, that really stinks, because I can't write humor. Go figure.

It's really just a transition chapter that got out of hand. Can't resist when creative genius comes knocking.

As always, remember to review afterwards, and I will be eternally grateful.

Now read.

**_Chapter Six_**

I gasped.

We were flying through the air. There was never such freedom like this. I had thought I had fully tasted the sweetest bits of freedom...in truth; I had barely licked the surface of the concept of being free.

I was being held up by nothing but air. I was depending solely upon the red-tail hawk's experience and my courage. I was completely independent and flying away from every one of my troubles.

The Yeerks thought it was a blessed thing just to look through a human's eyes. Let them look through a hawk's unparalleled sight. They would be stunned into speechlessness. The colors, the detail at such a high altitude was incredible. There was nothing, nothing like this.

It was almost comparable to joy. Those unsuspecting young humans...they had no idea how lucky they were to have a home, a family, and friends. They had no idea how many joys their world held. The tastes, the sight, the smells...how could they want more? How could they feel diminished in anything? They took so many of these things for granted. What a waste.

Sometimes, I wonder how humans are my own species. I feel as if I can relate to the Yeerks more.

(It has almost been two of your hours, Prince Jake.) Aximili said. A prince was the Andalite term for respect.

(Don't call me Prince, Ax.) Jake responded. They did that often. Sometimes, I wondered what the point was. But maybe there was no point. Humans seemed to like to do things like that. Apparently, Ax also enjoyed the pointlessness.

(It's not our hours, Ax. You're on Earth, get used to the fact that it's everyone's hours.) Marco seemed to also participate in the pointlessness. He had mentioned this problem countless times.

We laughed as we lighted upon the ground.

Marco spoke first, as we demorphed. "It was all Rachel's idea; I just want you all to know that." He informed us.

Rachel shook her head impatiently. "Who cares whose idea it was? It's a good one."

"Says the wacko." Marco interjected.

"Shut up, Marco." Rachel rolled her eyes. "The whole point is Madi; we're having a girl's day out."

I stared blankly.

"See? She doesn't get it either."

"She's nine; she's not supposed to get it."

"A girl's day out," explained Cassie kindly. "is when a girl gets to go out with a group of her friends and-"

"-shops for her wardrobe-"

(-hangs out-)

(-obtains delicious cinnamon buns-)

"-rots her brain-"

"Shut UP, Marco."

"-and has fun." Cassie ended firmly.

"Ok. Let's do it!" I decided.

"That's my kind of girl." Rachel grinned.

"Oh, no." Marco muttered.

I acquired both Rachel and Cassie the other day to combine a whole new morph. The Yeerks were looking for me. I couldn't walk into town without a morph. And Cassie had problems with me morphing other humans.

I concentrated, and felt the changes begin.

First, I grew very tall. Not quite as tall as Rachel, but much taller than my old body.

My hair grew longer than my shoulder-length black hair. It grew brown with gold highlights. My skin went from pale to tan. My eyes went from brown to a dark blue.  
I could feel myself getting older, my body developing. It was so strange. I felt familiar, yet unfamiliar in this body.

"Are you ok?" asked Jake.

"I am fine." I looked down. I had what they called a leotard. It was black with a silver stripe. Rachel had given it to me.

I looked up. They all stared at me.

(Dude, is it just me, or am I seeing a Rachel/Cassie reincarnated?)

"Th-That's my nose." Rachel said shakily. "This is so weird..."

"How do you feel?"

I considered. There was a strange pulling to do the wild and reckless, and another kinder motive that pulled me back.

"This morph completely contradicts itself." I admitted.

"What do you mean?" asked Jake.

"There seems to be a cautious side, and at the same time, a courageous and warrior side."

(Bad karma.) Tobias observed.

(What is this karma?) Ax asked.

"Great." Marco groaned. "Another Xena."

"Who is this Xena? X-eeee-na? That's a funny name."

They all stared. "Wow. You really don't get cable, do you?"

"No. Should I?" I asked, puzzled.

(Allow me to explain. Xena is a human-fiction character from the human-made films in which the humans are a backwards civilization. The film consists of gorging, sticking sharp metal objects through the body, and tearing apart other people. The heroine, Xena, is a Warrior Princess who tries to change all of this by also gorging, sticking sharp metal objects through her enemies' bodies, and tearing others apart.) Ax, though I wasn't too sure how he knew of this.

"Just like Rachel." added Marco.

"Marco, are you asking to get gorged and torn apart?"

"Well, if we're finished touring the lunacy ward..." Jake tapped his foot on the ground.

"Alright, Dad." teased Marco, and we set off.

Town was very interesting. Of course, I had seen it from a distance, both on the ship and at the edge of the tree-place. (I had still not gotten around to asking the Animorphs what a tree-place's correct term was.)

It had gray cement-like places where large vehicles would zoom by. As first, I thought they were other creatures. But on second glance, I saw they were all machines, with humans steering them. I calculated that the mass of each vehicle would be enough to crush one of us.

I decided to stay far away from it.

There were other places where humans walked on, lighter and higher cement-like place. After a while, I realized that the vehicles would not be able to maneuver onto these places, so we were safe. However, if even one vehicle managed to lose balance and fall upon the high cement...I kept a close watch on the vehicles.

It was extremely dangerous for humans to have such vehicles so close to other humans. Humans have such fragile bodies, so easily killed. It all is a matter of trust, in the end. Trust that the humans in the vehicles know enough not to swerve onto the lighter cement area, and trust that the humans walking do not walk upon the gray cement area.

Such trust can result in others death. I've seen it before. No matter whom it is trust shall always break apart in the end.

Inside the mall was like nothing I could ever experience. The lights were dizzying. The many small and large hollow areas filed with merchandise were called stores. The main goal of the mall seems to be to buy one's merchandise. And it seemed quite popular.

There were so many different types of humans. They were all different shades and colors. And there were so many of them. It was insane!

"Ok," I heard Rachel say. "We'll go into Gap first, because that's got the widest selection. Then I have to go to Victoria's Secret to buy something for Cassie."

"Ooh, I love Victoria's." grinned Marco slyly. Jake hit his shoulder. Rachel ignored them, and started listing half a dozen other stores.

"Are there always this many people?" I asked Cassie.

"Yeah. It's a Saturday. Haven't you ever been to a mall before?"

I considered lying. "Not really." I finally admitted.

Cassie frowned. "That's right. You've never really been on Earth before, have you? Well, Rachel knows the place the best. I swear, she's got the whole place memorized like the back of her hand."

"How can she?" I gasped. "It has so many people and possibilities! Does she have some sort of emitter that will inform her of where to go? Or some sort of photographic memory?"

"That's what I've been trying to figure out for years." laughed Cassie.

"We'll meet you at the food court, Madi." Tobias, who had morphed human, along with Ax, waved as he towed Ax away.

"You must try Earth's selection of foods." Ax grinned like a three-year old. "It is beyond amazing. Ah-maay-zing." He seemed to have warmed up to me, since I had morphed human. Maybe it was I'm-on-an-unfamiliar-planet-you're-on-an-unfamiliar-planet thing that we both had.

Rachel grabbed my hand, as we went shopping.

Forty-five minutes later, I managed to stagger back to the table at the food court under several heavy packages. I sat down heavily, and let go of the packages with loud thumps.

"Are all these quite necessary?" I asked Rachel.

"Hmm?" She asked, busy looking through her purchases. "Yeah, they are. Listen, do you mind if I go to the bathroom first?" She left as Marco and Tobias came by.

Marco slid into the seat across from me. "Having fun yet?"

I grimaced, and they laughed.

"You'll get used to it," Tobias reassured me.

"No, no it was fun. There were so many different things to see, places to go, and clothes to shop for." I waved my hand around. "Amazing."

Marco raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, you're a true mall rat."

I wondered what that was, but decided it was best not to ask.

"Ok, Ax gets his cinnamon bun, Cassie gets her tortilla, Marco gets a burrito, Rachel get a tortilla, and I have a hamburger. Anything for you, Tobias?" Jake was balancing a large flat plate with many different items on it.

Tobias shook his head. "I already ate in the meadow."

Jake looked at me. "What about you, Madi?"

"I-er-" I didn't know what to say. What were they talking about? Tortillo buns? Cinnaburgers? Was this some new Earth concept I should know?

Ax was busy gobbling his food, but he took a breath to answer me. "Mmaevy Mgy erd hry zeinavan hrun."

"Huh?" Marco laughed. "What was that, Ax?"

Ax swallowed. I could see the big gulp go down his throat. "I said, maybe Madi should try the cinnamon buns. Bun-zuh."

Marco nodded. "Yeah, and maybe we should just give Madi a couple cigarette butts and popcorn boxes while we're at it. She's already pretty good at swallowing candy bar wrappers."

I wanted to prove I could eat more than that. "I've also eaten grass." I pointed out. "And I almost ate a small six-legged creature that has mandibles."

Everyone stared. Marco, who had taken a big bite of his food, started coughing. Jake and Cassie put down their food. Only Ax commenced chewing. "That sounds reasonable." He said sensibly. "Given the circumstances." No one even listened. They were all too focused on me.

"You ate an ant?" Jake asked weakly. "An ant?"

"Ant." I said trying out the name. "Yes, I ate an ant. Almost."

Everyone looked slightly green. I was puzzled. "What?"

"Good timing," Marco complained. "Great thing to share with your friends when they're eating lunch: Hey, guess what? I ate an ant!"

Rachel suddenly came back, and sat down. "Hey, what'd I miss? Anyone got anything to share?" She took a bite of her tortilla.

"Hey, guess what?" I told Rachel. "I ate an ant."

Rachel made a strange sound in her throat and gasped. "Oh." She held her hand up to her mouth and said again. "Oh." Then she ran away.

"Will Rachel be fine?" I asked, trying to figure out why she had the same look the others did when they heard that I ate an ant.

"Oh, it's nothing to worry about." Marco again. "She's probably blowing chunks outside. You know, spewing her guts. No worries. I'll tell you when she decides to make her Xena: Warrior Princess- killer grizzly- terminator move on us. I'll just use you as a shield."

I honestly didn't know what he was talking about.

And we'll be back, after Theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese Messages!

Sorry. I'm hyper.

Before I scare you all, I'm gonna log off.

Oh wait. I'm forgetting something.

No I'm not.

Yes I am.

No, I most definitely am not.

Yes, I most definitely-oh screw it. I'll remember later

Wait! Got it.

Don't got it.

No, there it is.

Now I've lost it.

Got it!

Review! (That didn't take too long, did it?)

Now, I'm gonna sign off, before I scare away whoever stayed behind to witness this.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: You know the drill. K.A. Applegate rules the Animorph world, and I don't. Blah.

I hate proofs. I also hate big huge math projects that I like to cram at the last second. So I won't be around for a couple of days. So I decided that the situation between Marco and Madra just ain't gonna be kept in any longer. They're gonna be at each other's throats before long. And I can't have them dying on me while I'm away. So I had to make the situation happen before I take leave.

And finally we get to hear the long-awaited plan that the Yeerks have been thinking of. It took me a while to think up of this, and I still think it's slightly wacko. Even for the Yeerks. Oh well. Great minds crack under pressure.

And also remember to press the lovely blue button down there somewhere, and pour out your thoughts to me.

(In other words, review.)

**_Chapter Seven_**

After Rachel came back, we sat down to talk.

"So," Jake said, as I chomped down on the hamburger. He didn't want it, and though I wasn't sure why, I had a feeling it was because of the ants. "What was this information you were gonna to tell us about?"

I sighed. I put down the hamburger. "They are building another Yeerk pool."

Ax raised an eyebrow. "What? One isn't enough to contain that filth?" Apparently, this was a new human expression he had just learned, because he raised his eyebrow again. And again. And again. Until, Tobias put a hand on his shoulder and told him that it was enough.

Rachel was unfazed. "Cool. We'll just blow it up."

"Are you insane?" Marco asked. "We couldn't even destroy the first Yeerk pool."

Jake was deep in thought. "How large is this Yeerk pool?"

"Not as large as the first. It is only half-finished. Its purpose is to supply Kandrona for the most important human Controllers."

"What about security?"

I considered. "Naturally there is high-level security. But if everything I've heard about the Andalite bandits is true, then you should have no trouble getting in."

Marco laughed. "That's right, flatter us. Now I know we're doomed."

"However, if construction is only half-done, then this would logically be the best opportunity to destroy the pool." Ax pointed out.

"That isn't all." I said. "The Yeerks are ready for your assault. They won't take any chances now. They've laid out several traps for you."

"Several?" Marc shrilled. "As if one wasn't enough? Several?"

I winced at the shrilling. "Well, yes. The Yeerks are prepared. You didn't expect them to not learn from their mistakes, did you? Visser Three is stupid, but he isn't quite that dim."

"So all we have to do is not go. Easy."

"No, not that easy." I shot back. "You can't hide out here forever. Do you know where this pool is? It's underneath your town, near your forest. After a few weeks, the pool will be under your forest. You would be walking right over it. It would be a minefield."

"So you prefer we walk into this trap." Marco leaned forward.

I also leaned forward. "I know what kind of traps are in there. The sooner we get in there, the less time we give the Yeerks to plan a new trap for you. One that I will not know. So, yes, I'd prefer you walk into the trap, so you can destroy it."

"I don't like it." He replied coldly.

"How eminently obvious." I replied just as coolly, matching tone for tone.

His eyes flashed. "Whose side are you on?"

"Not the Yeerks."

"There are plenty of sides that you could be on that wouldn't be the Yeerks side… or ours."

"I'm not David." I managed through gritted teeth.

"Could've fooled me." Marco also said.

I nearly exploded. "You make one mistake and you think everyone is like that?"

"We can't afford to make so many mistakes. One almost killed us. Excuse me for thinking for being careful and trying to preserve my life!" He snapped back. The calm part of me admitted he had a lot of reason behind his ideas, but another part of me argued that I had just as many good reasons as he had.

We glared at each other. Again, I was struck at how familiar that face was. If only I could place it…

The court was loud, but we were silent. And to tell the truth, I could hardly hear the people in the court anymore. There was a buzzing sound in my ears. "So what are you going to do about me?" I asked in a low voice, daring him with my eyes.

He looked away first. "You don't know anything. We're the ones fighting this war, and meanwhile, you're the one who was up in Visser Three's Blade Ship, kissing up to him, and watching people die!" He sneered.

I flamed up at his words. "You think I had a choice?" I snarled. "You think I wasn't screaming in my head every day? You think I didn't fight for all I was worth?"

Jake spoke up, before Marco could. "We know you did. We know that you went through some hard times, but playing us for fools and ordering us around isn't worth it."

"Jake, she's been threatening us since day one." Marco shook his head. "She's just as bad as the Yeerks. We can't trust her. She thinks she knows everything, but she's just pretending half the time. She keeps secrets from us." He narrowed his eyes at me, and I saw Cassie look shamed-face at her plate.

I heard a roaring in my ears, but I controlled it. The boy needed to be taught a lesson, but this was neither the time nor the place to do it.

"You-know-_nothing._" I hissed in my coldest softest voice, a voice that froze the blood of my underlings, a voice full of venom and malice. "Nothing. You are the ones who believe you have suffered the most, you are the ones who believe you shouldn't have to do this, and you are the ones who believe you know it all. You have things I would kill to have. You had a life of peace. I lived in constant war. You think everyone should think the same as you, that everyone should do the same as you, that you set the standards. But none of that is true. You know nothing of the real world."

I almost couldn't breath at the end. I looked around. Everyone was staring, or looking down at their plates.

Jake finally spoke. "What do you want?"

I blinked. Whatever I had been expecting, it wasn't this. "I-" I almost couldn't say it. But then my voice grew stronger. "I want blood. I want revenge. I want to see Visser Three helpless before me, and I want him to know how helpless he is, before I kill him. I want him to die the most painful way possible, so he has a long time to think about all the things he's done." I paused. "And Visser One…" I growled. I saw Marco stiffen out of the corner of my eye. "Well, I haven't thought up of what to do with her yet."

"What about Darwin, your brother?" Cassie asked. I saw no flicker of surprise from any of the member's faces. They already knew. Cassie had told them.

Fool that I was for thinking that I could trust her with such vital information.

"I will help him and many others by slaying Visser Three." I said with utter conviction.

No one looked convinced.

What had she told them? How my voice quivered when I spoke of my brother? How I wouldn't say more about him than was necessary? How much of me had she read?

Jake nodded. "You know our goal. And now we know yours. So what else do you know about the traps?"

I took a deep breath. "Most of these traps are not very well constructed. They are hardly more than sketches. The one that is set in motion is the pool itself. It is a trap, a labyrinth that will take even an Andalite quite a few minutes to find a way out. There are secret computers along the pathway that will show us a complete map, if the computers can be found, and if we know the codes."

Jake nodded, so I went on. "The second trap is slightly more serious. The Gleet Biofilters, in theory, can be modified to eliminate all life forms that are not programmed into it. These Biofilters can be turned into weapons."

"You mean they can kill whatever creature it's aimed at and programmed to kill?" Tobias asked.

"Yes. In theory. But it is well on its way to working. Since they know your battle morphs, they know which life forms to enter in. And after that, it is a simple matter of demanding you demorph, or get annihilated."

"Is there another trap?" Jake asked.

"Yes." I hesitated. "The Yeerks have mutated their shock troops. They decided to combine the Hork-Bajir DNA with a Taxxon's DNA."

"They can do that?" Rachel demanded.

"Yes, they can." Ax replied, suddenly serious. "It has been done on the Andalite home world in laboratories, to see if we could replace a strain of our DNA with other creature's immune systems. It is very complicated. However, there has never been any known purposely created mutation beyond that."

"Yes, well, the Yeerks are taking the strengths of the Hork-Bajir with the Taxxon's strength, and combining them to create a new creature. However, they have a problem. The mutations all cannot breathe the Earth air. They are kept alive in a contained environment, or in hibernation, but they cannot be used until they have a strand of DNA from another creature, preferably one who lives on Earth."

"So what creature?" Tobias asked.

"Humans." Marco crossed his arms.

"Yes, the Yeerks would use that if it came down to it." I agreed grudgingly. "But there are other creatures to consider. They have tried strands of bird, but it simply doesn't fit. Other animals of different species have also been tried, but all have failed to work. They just don't share similiar characteristics. Humans do seem to be the best option. But Visser Three refuses to use humans, because he has something better in mind."

"Andalites." Cassie had figured it out.

"He wants to use Andalite DNA?" Ax asked incredulously. "Is he not aware of the risks? Doesn't he know how Andalite DNA is hardly ever compatible?"

"Do the equations, Andalite. You know it. You will find that Andalite DNA is very compatible with Hork-Bajir and Taxxon mix."

"Why don't they just use Visser Three's host body?" asked Rachel.

I snorted. "And risk the only Andalite-Controller ever? Visser Three dare not."

"So they're going to try to capture us, and use us to make a mutation." Jake nodded thoughtfully.

"So what are we going to do?" Cassie asked. "Will we go in?"

"Let's vote." Jake said.

"Let's do it." Rachel said without hesitation.

Ax paused. "I will do what you want, Prince Jake."

"Ax, first, don't call me prince. And second, this really will affect you, so you should choose."

He paused. "I will go." I raised an eyebrow. That was unexpected. I thought the Andalite would've tried to save his own skin.

Tobias nodded. "Another Yeerk pool under my forest? No way. I'm going."

Cassie smiled. "If we can free the Controllers…"

Marco rolled his eyes. "I'm in. Who else is going to remind you how insane this is?"

Jake looked at me. I met his gaze. "Go."

"It's unanimous, then." Jake announced. "We'll go." He looked at me.

"Tell us what to do."

* * *

Good job Madra. You really killed it right there. I mean, geezus, lighten up a little, willya?

Honestly, this girl scares me.

My bones are telling me that things go downhill from here on out. And my bones are never wrong.

Ok, before I swallow a couple packets of Skittles and get hyper again, I'm going. Need to use that energy on the project...

Stupid project.

Pour all those thoughts onto that beautiful blank sheet of paper-well, the computer screen. Note to self: How can paper be beautiful?

So, review/criticize/flame/knock youself out.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: One day, I'm gonna inherit the Animorphs after K.A. Applegate dies. I can see it now...Electric Skye OWNS the Animorphs...

But until then, it just belongs to that woman whose name I don't feel like writing since it's sooooooooooo long.

Bits of drama in this one. Bits of stupidity. And a lot of transition. Yes, its another transition chapter. But they're fun to play with.

No offence, but I can't help but look at Marco and Ax and think "Jeez. How dense can ya get?"

But I won't give away anymore.

Read, or the boogie monster will come to get you. (Man, did that sound sketchy or what?)

_**Chapter Eight**_

I was enraged.

The boy didn't trust me. And while one part of me was impressed at how quickly he picked up the fact that I was self-preserving, lying, and threatening them, the other part of me was simply enraged. What more did I have to do? What more did they need? Did they expect me to roll over and die when they told me to?

I could almost imagine why this David betrayed them. They could be infuriating!

But I wasn't so stupid. It was only Marco that was annoying. And I could handle my rage. It wasn't worth it to lose it over one boy.

It was afternoon,in the next week. Marco was no friendlier to me than he had been last week at the food court.

I was scheduled to fly over the Yeerk pool with Tobias. On my first trip to Earth, my Yeerk had led the project of the newest Yeerk pool. He had come down to Earth to check it out. I remembered the entrance. What I didn't think about was how many of those entraces there were. Why the humans built so many of these contraptions boggled my mind.

I had told them of the entrance in a large open place where humans gathered to sit in carts and get dropped down long railings and scream in fear. Then they would get back in line and ride the whole thing over again.

(It's called a roller coaster.) Tobias said. We were flying towards the place. I could hear the screams of the humans clearly.

(I know what it is called.) I said. (I simply do not understand why it is made.)

(It's for fun. You know, for the thrills.)

I stared at the humans. (They do not look as if they're having fun. Look, that dark-haired one is waving his hands around for help. And the boy next to him is screaming.)

(Well, they…hold on, that's Marco and Ax. Dudes! What are you guys doing?)

(AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!) Ax screamed. (Tobias, we- yahhhhhhh!!)

(Ax-man, are you cool?)

(No, Tobias. In fact, my own human body is retaining its heat, and it is at a healthy 98.2 degrees Fahrenheit.)

(That's not what I meant Ax. Marco, what are you doing there?)

"Yahhhhhhhhhhh!" Marco screamed.

Tobias sighed. (We'll wait then.)

We watched as Marco and Ax disembarked from the cart and walked over to some bushes.

(Sorry, Tobias. We couldn't resist.) Marco said as he rose in the air as an osprey.

(I bet you could. Marco, we aren't here for the roller coasters. We're supposed to find the ride that leads into the Yeerk pool.)

(But Tobias-) Ax's voice shook. (-that was the most amazing, yet terrifying moment of my life. You must come try it.)

(Jake will have my skin if I do. We're supposed to be scouting around!)

(Why would Prince Jake take your outer organ?) Ax sounded puzzled. (Will he use it as artificial skin?)

(But we've already staked out this place fifty times!) Marco grumped. (The Yeerks are just waiting for us. We already figured out what to do. We know the underground layout, the secret computer codes, and all the equipment. We actually have a plan for once. And we're not doing anything.)

(You know why Marco.) Tobias told him. (Madi suspects a trap in the underground. We're waiting for information from the Chee. And if we don't get any sign of a trap, then we go tonight. Plus, Madi's not exactly sure which ride leads to the place. We've seen Controllers everywhere on every ride. They're just throwing us off scent, which means they know we know, and Madi thinks that means there's more likelihood of a trap.)

(Yeah? And we're gonna trust her?)

There was silence. Obviously, Marco had no idea I was here, or else he would not have said that out loud.

(Hey, Marco.) I said, flying pass him. (Tobias and I are ready to take the next shift.)

(Oh…uh…) he stopped talking.

It didn't matter. They might think I was soft and petty, but I was used to this. My odds were already good. Rachel liked me, she said as much. Cassie might not trust me, but she willing to give me the chance. Jake was just fair to me. Tobias explained stuff to me. Ax understood my confusion with the human world, and so he bonded with me like that. Or he was just really happy that he wasn't the only one who didn't understand human things.

I didn't need any pity. I didn't need anyone to take care of me. I needed to Animorphs to help me here, and once I killed off Visser Three, then I would be off. Maybe I'd become a nothlit. Maybe I'd just disguise myself as another human. I don't know.

I had another dream that I dared not even think about. If I could save Darwin….

Foolish of me, I know. But Darwin meant everything to me. He would know what to do. He planned everything out. He would help. If I could rescue him.

I rather doubted it.

(Your shift is over, Ax.) I said. (You can go now.)

(Tobias?) Ax asked. (Since our turn is over, may I-?)

(Yeah! One more time, then we'll go home.) Marco said, and flew off to land in the bushes.

They demorphed, and walked out. Tobias muttered something about roller coasters and idiots, then flew off to the other side of the park.

If it weren't for the hawk eyes, I might not have seen Marco sneakily take a piece of paper from the ground and give it to the person behind the glass window. The person accepted it, and I heard Marco tell him to give them the bigger ride.

"You mean, the tunnel ride?" The person asked.

"Yeah. Give us the pool ride." Marco grinned.

The person stopped smiling and nodded. "Right this way, sir." He nodded towards the side door.

Marco dragged Ax inside, but not before giving us a little wave.

(Tobias?) I asked curiously. (What is a pool ride?)

(What do you mean the pool ride?) Tobias asked from the other side.

(Marco went inside with Ax to what they call the pool ride.) I said. (Marco called it the bigger ride, but the man behind the glass said it was the tunnel ride.)

(Oh. That's just an extension of the original ride. You know, like a different ride that has the same theme as the first ride, but you can't go on it, unless you have a member account or lots of money. Say, how did Marco get in there?)

(He picked up a piece of paper from the ground and gave it to the man behind the glass.)

(Did you see what it looked like?)

I tried to remember. (It was green and crumpled and had several pictures and words on it.)

(Did you see a number?)

(Yes. It was twenty.)

Tobias sighed. (That was money. It was a twenty dollar bill Marco took.)

(Money? I thought they came in silver or copper alloys shaped as small flat disks.)

(Yeah, some of them are. They're just different parts of each other. You know, a nickel is worth five pennies and so on.)

I didn't get it. (Humans have such complex systems.) I muttered. (Why carry around such invaluable things when they are so easy to lose?)

(I really don't know. All I can say is that there is a lot of money on the ground. People drop stuff everywhere.)

(Why are there two different roller coasters then?) I asked confused.

(Well, people want more money, so they charge more so people can ride the better roller coaster. But they don't want people to not go on their roller coaster, so they decide to put up a smaller roller coaster. You know what? Ask Cassie about this. She gets it better than I do.)

I angled around. (Whereare Marco and Ax? Will they not ride on the large contraption below us?)

(Nah, the other roller coaster is inside. That's why they call it a tunnel. The whole thing is called the "Freakazoid. Consists of thrills, chills, and spills! Come ride this wet roller coaster, with a big pool at the end!") He read the sign.

(A big pool at the end?) I asked slowly. I was remembering something, but I couldn't quite get there.

(Yeah, a big…pool.)

We both realized it at the same time.

(Holy...Get Jake and the others.) Tobias said.

(No, Tobias. You fly faster than I do. You go. Besides, I know my way down there better than you do.)

He hesitated, then said, (Ok. I'll be back soon. Don't do anything without us.)

He might've said that because he was afraid I would get hurt. But I knew better. I knew he was saying that because he was afraid of a betrayal.

He flew away. I flew down and demorphed.

I remorphed my new human morph, the "Rachel/Cassie reincarnation." I looked around for the pieces of paper they called money, but I couldn't see any. No matter. If I was high-ranking enough, they wouldn't mind either.

I strode over to the counter, and glared at the man behind the glass. He looked bored.

"Yeah?" He asked. "You know, you need money for this ride."

I curled my lip, and lowered my voice. "Fool. Give me the pool ride, before I report you to Visser Three."

He straightened, and I could see the fear in his eyes. "Yes, ma'am."

I tossed my head, and walked to the door.

It had been so easy. Just walking in, and talking in that cold hard voice. It made me shiver. I didn't like the fact that I could imitate high-ranking Yeerks.

I wondered if the boy Marco was right. Maybe I was like David. If David was arrogant and mean, and cold and harsh. It wasn't a good thought.

I shook the thoughts out of my head. No, I had to save Marco and Ax first. They didn't even realize where they were.

I remembered my first trip to Earth. The one where I had ran away from the Yeerk pool into the forest. I remembered the Yeerk pool vaguely.

One thing I did remember. At the end of the "ride", there was a pool.

A pool full of Yeerks.

I had found the Yeerk pool. And Marco and Ax were headed straight for it.

* * *

Nice dramatic ending.

Stupid Madra. How can you forget a roller coaster called the Freakazoid?

Yeah, stupid name. But hey, I was gonna call it the Sluggy the Super Slugster. I much prefer the Freakazoid.

Ok, time for me to catch up on my lost hours of sleep. Remember to review for me!


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: When pigs fly and Rachel goes out with Marco. I don't own nothing from the Animorphs. **

**I feel like you all are going to kill me. **

**Gah. You are, aren't you? **

**Yeah, I was stupid, and completely forgot about this story for a while. It's been months, hasn't it. **

***Whimpers* I'm so getting flamed.....**

**Anyways, before I get you anymore angrier, I'm going to start the next chapter. **

**Chapter Nine:**

(Aximili! Marco! Where are you?)

I had called out twice since walking through the doors, but there was no answer. They were either too far away, or preoccupied.

I was not happy with them.

They were idiots.

They were warriors. They were supposed to be paranoid and smart. What happened? Did the rolly-toasters permanently affect their brains? Surely they weren't _that _stupid?

How could they not see that the whole contraption was a hoax?

My lip curled in disdain. Of course they couldn't see the trap. They were children after all. And Marco, for all his talk, was too busy waiting for me to make a wrong move, when he was the one who needed looking after.

And Ax. Well, we all knew Andalites were arrogant and confident and generally snobby, but still....was he so blinded by his "fun" that he couldn't see a Yeerk trap?

I smirked at the image of Elfangor's brother mentally beating himself up for his stupidity. I was beginning to wonder if Ax would ever be quite like his brother. I respected Elfangor. I had yet to respect Ax.

The first part of the maze was just a series of hallways and paths that you could take and get lost in quite easily. If you knew the way through, it was short and easy. If you didn't...well, the Yeerks had monitors who watched out for anyone who had difficulty getting through the maze. All Controllers had a map of the maze in their heads. If you didn't know your way, chances were that you weren't a Controller. So the Yeerks would take the time and generosity to make you one.

I paused in my thoughts. Ugh. That was a joke. My jokes were just as good as Marco's. Which wasn't good at all.

Lucky everyone had an outline of the maze in their heads. I knew Ax, at least, had it completely memorized.

What bothered me the most wasn't how stupid Marco and Ax were, though, as I thought out my feelings. I wasn't really too angry at them. I figured that Jake, no doubt, would take care of that.

But the other thing that was annoying me was how easy it was to fool the Controller at the counter that I was a high-ranking Yeerk. He didn't doubt my words at all. That was because my words were spoken like a true Yeerk. Cold, slightly harsh, and cunning.

I didn't like that. A "true" Yeerk? I thought I had left those days behind. Oh, I didn't delude myself into thinking that I could forget it all. But I thought I didn't have to act so bloodthirsty and cruel to everyone. I thought I could act like...a nine-year old.

Pretending to be a high-ranking Yeerk and succeeding at it…it wasn't something I was proud of. I had been a Controller for such a long time, that I couldn't even be a normal human. Acting all Yeerkish _was_ the norm for me.

I turned another corner, thinking deeply. Ever since I was born, I hadn't realized how different I was. The fact that every other human Controller was an adult was something that didn't bother me.

And it took years for me to discover that I was one in a million. No, one in a billion. I was one of the first child Controllers. And it was like a blast of a high-energy cannon right in my face. Not every child had to be a Controller. Not every child had this kind of life.

I couldn't believe it. That there was some other sort of life beyond the walls of the Blade ship was something I couldn't truly comprehend.

I still remember one of many times I watched "normal" life in action. I was standing in a Bug fighter, mouth grim and old, eyes cold and hard, the kind of face that result from being a Controller for too long.

My underlings worked behind me, and I felt my mouth, that was not my mouth, move and shout out orders. But my eyes were drawn to the window.

There was the view of the street. I watched bitterly as the human children no older than me laughed and played in the sun.

I had never felt the sun. Neither had I ever stepped foot on Earth. I had never met anyone my ages on the Godforsaken ship, except Darwin, let alone played with them. Yeerks don't believe in a playtime.

My Yeerk read my thoughts, and burst out laughing. (Little Madra,) He jeered. (Don't you realize by now that you'll never be one of _them? _Even given a chance to communicate with the children, you _still _wouldn't belong. You belong here, on this ship, with me in your head.)

I ignored him and focused on the children. Jealousy roared through my veins. I've heard that jealousy is identified with the color green, but for me, it was pitch black, the color of pain and bitterness all rolled into one. If you could choke on anger and drown in sorrow, then surely it was possible to suffocate in that blackness, that jealousy.

(Accept it, girl.) My Yeerk snarled. (You think you know pain? You think you feel jealousy? I'll teach you jealousy. I'll teach you to _breathe_ it. Now don't go soft on me.)

_Don't go soft on me. _I don't think I ever understood those words until that moment.

I closed my eyes, putting the memory away for later, and when I opened them, I saw a small pinpoint of light at the end of the hallway. The maze came to an end and there would be, as promised to the humans, something of a rolly- a rowell- a -

Never mind.

In any case, the...thing...was a cart floating in the middle of a misty lake. If I closed my eyes, I could remember the trees and forest land. The Hork-Bajir marched about, the Taxxons digging in the dirt, the Gedds fixing a broken-down Bug fighter.

Of course, the forestland was a hologram. The aliens weren't. But of course, the humans would believe that the whole thing was a fake and laugh at the illusion.

I entered the compound, and saw the misty lake. My eyes narrowed, as I watched a solitary yellow cart make it's way slowly along the lake, and then wash up to the dock. I reached out one hand to grab hold of cart handle, and felt a shiver of apprehension.

Where was the guard who normally stood here? Where was the guide?

I exhaled slowly, and moved into the cart. I remembered how shaky it had been the last time, and I had been the first one to complain bitterly about it. They must've fixed it, because it didn't wobble at all, when I climbed in. The cart was the same size as before, large enough to fit as many as twenty people. I felt rather small in it, though since I morphed a combination of Rachel and Cassie, I was taller than I had been.

I found it even stranger that there were no other carts coming along. The way I remembered it, the carts came nonstop and continuously, and there were many Controller guards and guides in case Andalite bandits came or if the humans got rowdy.

My heart beat faster. Adrenaline was being pumped into my system, a natural human reaction to troubling times. I knew something was wrong.

Luckily, I understood how to operate the controls of the cart. It required passwords and Yeerk DNA.

No need. Within a few minutes, I had broken into the system. Easy. The Yeerks hadn't changed any of the controls after all.

I calmed down. And then I panicked as I realized that I couldn't see _any _Hork-Bajir, Taxxons, or Gedds.

Surely the Yeerks didn't call them all away, did they? Or was it because there was an emergency of some sort? Did they discover the Andalite and Marco?

It was getting mistier, and you could hardly see anything. The gray lake rippled beneath the yellow cart, the only thing I could see. But I knew there was a tunnel coming next, and once you were past that, you arrived at the Yeerk pool.

So where were Marco and Ax? I tried to call, but got no answer. Not good.

Suppose they had already arrived at the Yeerk pool? Suppose they were fighting in it? Or were they already infested?

I was nearing the tunnel. I tensed as I watched the black opening grow nearer and nearer.

That was when I heard the weird noises. Several bellows of pain, the hiss of the Dracon beams, and yells for help.

So_, this _was where the circus stopped at.

I started to demorph back to my natural state, the nine-year old. I needed to remorph to another shape, not human. Maybe I'd morph red-tail hawk. I liked having wings.

The tunnel was darker than I remembered. I couldn't see anything at all, but I kept hearing those noises. Red-tail hawks couldn't see very well in the dark, could they? So maybe I ought to morph something else.

Somehow, though, I doubted that morphing either a Coly or flockroach would get me very far.

Huh? Wait. It was the other way around wasn't it? A cockroach and a fly. Or was it…

TSEEEEEWWW!

In the light of a Dracon beam, I saw a hairy humanoid shape throwing a Hork-Bajir over his shoulder. And a young blue-furred four-legged creature whose tail kept whipping around.

Ax and Marco. There they were. They stood on the banks of the tunnel, out of the water, balanced precariously and ducking down. Plaster from the tunnel rained down on us, shattered from the constant beams.

I wanted to yell out, but I was fully demorphed. I couldn't speak to them without running the risk of yelling out.

I quickly realized I had other problems though. Both Ax and Marco were retreating, backing up. Too many Hork-Bajir reinforcements. They moved along the banks, fighting back fiercely. If it were a better time, I'd be impressed by their fighting.

However, I was more concerned by the fact that they didn't see me. They didn't see the yellow cart moving steadily towards them, and me, running forward to work the controls. I hadn't been watching the waters and the cart. The cart that had been floating in the middle of the waterway was beginning to lean towards one of the banks.

Marco flung out one huge meaty arm to balance himself, and it hit the cart. That was really all it took.

I was thrown backwards as the whole cart was unsettled and flipped back. I was launched on my back into the murky water. I saw the whole cart turn over, a huge yellow block that was upright for a moment, and then crashed into the water.

Right before I went under, I saw Marco turn, distracted, and the Hork-Bajir he was fighting shoved him hard. The Hork-Bajir and Marco both lost their balance simultaneously and hit the water hard. I felt the waves of water they created literally turn me over and over, in a continuous somersault. _No screaming._ I told myself strictly. If I screamed, I would suck in water and humans weren't aquatic creatures after all.

Well. I could handle this. I didn't know how to swim all that well, but it wasn't that difficult, was it? Just hold in your breath, and move your feet and hands, and…

That's when I turned to the side, my eyes opening to determine where the surface was. The water was still shadowy, but right in front of my eyes, I saw a slimy rod-shaped creature I wished never to see.

A Yeerk.

And as I looked all around me, I discovered that wasn't the only one. They were all around me, in multitudes, just relaxing, and floating about.

This lake…wasn't a lake. The Yeerks must've made this adjustment after the last time I had visited it. This was a Yeerk pool.

Oh, no. My ears, my ears! I reached up to clap them shut. My lungs burned, my eyes stretched to see beyond the Yeerks.

Oh. No. Not again, not here, please no…

I knew I shouldn't, but I did. I screamed.

**One of my greatest fears when I was younger was drowning. *Shudders* Not fun. **

**Anyways....I'll answer some questions. **

**Ember Nickel: Thanks for the boatload of reviews. I love all your stories, they rock. For your question: **Why did they give her the morphing power /before/ the three-day spy routine?** Well, that was because they were pretty darn sure that she wasn't a Controller even before they started the three-day thing. She didn't know how to eat a wrapped chocolate bar, complimented Elfangor, and wanted to fight the Yeerks. She didn't try to escape the first night, and didn't quite act like a normal Controller. They decided to give her the morphing power before the three-day thing was up. Sorry, should've made that clearer. And about the new Yeerk pool? I actually haven't seen that Star Wars movie, but I kind of needed a...shall we say, a catastrophe, and this was the best thing I could think of. Gah. I know, it's not the best, but I'm working with it. **

**metamorphstorm: Thank you for being the first person to review this story. You don't know how many times I read your first review over and over. I always liked every one of your reviews, too, they made me smile, as cliche as that sounds. So, just wanted to say...thanks. **

**Captain Kurt Hoffman: I visited your homepage, and I'm pretty sure I won't try to guess your gender. I suck at any guessing games, but I love to watch people guess. lol. Anyways, thanks for your advice on the thing about contradicting other people's stories. I _had_ been wondering about that for a while, so it was good to get that advice. Advice is gold, these days, I tell you, GOLD. **

**Kai Richards: lol. Hey, thanks for the review. I have been worrying about the humor, since I have such a morbid mind. My friends are always creeped out by how dark I can get. Yeah, I can't do humor very well, but I try. The chapters probably _will _get longer than they are now...my other story on fictionpress is much more darker but I write close to 20 pages a chapter. Insane. It's just that I've always thought of Animorphs with short chapters, so I base my chapter length on that. **

**voodooqueen126: Thanks for reviewing! Yes, this is completely AU, and if I had to put it to a specific range of books, I'd say around the 40-ish, before Marco's dad finds out about the Animorphs, but after Visser. Madra's fate in the Animorphs is actually never made known, and she's about nine. The Animorphs really treat Madra strictly the first time they meet her because they have a suspicion that she is a Controller. For your question: **Wouldn't a child who had spent her whole life as a controller have serious problems, like head rocking/banging etc? **Well, Madra is the strong and coping type. She wouldn't break down so easily. That's how I picture it anyways. And yeah, you're right, they shouldn't discuss it in public, but I guess they got carried away or something. Anyways, thanks for all the reviews!**

**Freakazoid: I laughed during your review. Yes, I was actually hoping someone would pick up on the fact that Madra has a tendency to act like a nine-year old attitude, mixed in with a Yeerkish upbringing. And Visser One _will_ show up...*evil laugh* Love the phrase, "You got Yeerk'd!" Freakazoid was really the only thing I could think of. Me, and my humor? I thought it was slightly stupid, since I don't do well with humor. Once in a blue moon, maybe, I'll make someone laugh. Interesting that I actually made you laugh. Though I'm not complaining. :) And oh yes, the Animorphs will interact more with Madra, because I want to show all of their relationships with Madra. But I'll space it out. Rome wasn't built in a single day, you know. And oh, ****Darwin**** will show as well, and the rest of our lovable cast of Yeerks. Thanks for your review!**

**Alright, remember to review/flame/criticize, and please don't throw rocks through my window. I need it when the nights get cold. **


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: Love 'em, don't own 'em. Though I'd love to own them. lol. **

**So we have our first battle, and Madi in action. A bit more on her morals. Sorry, this is more filler chapter, and I'm not too pleased with it. Next chapter should get into the hard gritty and interesting stuff, so stay tuned. **

**And thanks to all who reviewed or alerted or fav this story. You know who you are, I know who you are, plus I'm too lazy to put up your names though I really should. hehe. **

**And without further ado, the story. **

**Chapter Ten:**

(Madi!)

Ow. My head hurt.

(Yo! Mads. Nap later. We got problems!)

Breath. In and out. Live, survive.

I opened my eyes blearily, staring at the vast amount of black fur beneath my nose. I sneezed. Even that hurt.

"Marco?" I asked weakly. I felt pretty helpless right then. I doubted I could even morph.

(So you're up then?) He asked. (Good.)

I looked around. I was slung across Marco's shoulder, with one of Marco's large hands holding my legs in place, so that I was staring at Marco's back, and the bellowing Hork-Bajir. They looked angry.

I hid my face in the fur, heart beating quickly. "Did any of them see my face?" I asked quietly.

We were bounding, leaping from cart to cart. It figured. Marco and Ax had completely decimated the rest of the carts and disabled the human guards and guides as well, though not before they managed to call in reinforcements. Now we were jumping from floating cart to floating cart on the water, as well as possible. Marco didn't linger too long on each cart, since they started to sink the minute he landed on one.

TSEEEEEEWWWWWW!

A cart behind us exploded. I flinched. Of course, there was the small matter of the Hork-Bajir chasing us and their Dracon beams.

(I don't think they saw your face.) Marco replied. (How about we get away so you _have_ a face?)

I ignored the blunt comment. "Where's Ax?"

(Eh. Fighting Hork-Bajir and dodging Dracon beams and stuff. You know, the usual. No biggie.)

He was mad at me. Why? I considered what I did wrong. Well, Tobias _did _tell me not to go in. But how could Marco know that? He was inside by the time I was.

Or maybe I was overanalyzing everything. Maybe he was just being Marco.

And then the cart we were on exploded.

(Ahhhhhhhh!)

"AAAAAHHHHHHH!"

My hands were ripped away from the gorilla, small clumps of black fur still clenched in my hands. And I was turning in the air, flailing arms and legs, completely and utterly helpless. I felt panic settle at the bottom of my stomach and invade my mind. I couldn't think!

"AAAAHHH-"

I hit the ground hard. I heard, rather than felt, something break. I couldn't be sure, but it might've been my wrist. Years of torturing and being tortured on the Blade ship taught me a good deal on anatomy of different species.

I lay on my side, feeling rather sorry for myself, and then decided to roll over and take a look at my surroundings.

Good thing I did.

TSEWWW!

A beam hit where my hand had been. I stared wide-eyed at the smoking spot on the ground, and then turned to see it's source.

To my surprise, I found that I was in a huge steel room, resting against a wall. It looked pretty empty except for a few metal contraptions against the opposite wall. Nothing that indicated a forestland and a lake of Yeerks.

Oh, of course. The forestland had been an illusion. I must've gone flying through the hologram and in here. But it made me wonder about the lake. Hologram?

I was guessing no. Which made our problem pretty big and annoying.

And where was the force field of the hologram anyways? Shouldn't there be one, just in case? Where were Marco and Ax? I was annoyed at the fact I couldn't communicate with them, but unless I wanted to be caught by the Hork-Bajir in a bad position, I couldn't yell out. I really had never worked alone like this. There was always some sort of voice in my head, some person talking to me. Now, there was...nothing. Silence. Just me, and that felt awfully lonely.

TSEWWWW!!! TSEWWWW!!!

Discussion later, I decided. Right now, my priorities leaned in favor of getting out.

I stood up shakily, carefully watching the hologram, circling the spot where the illusion was. This had to be planned out carefully. If not, I could get burned badly, or worse, dead.

I concluded where the least Dracon beams where shot, and ran towards there. Hopefully I'd find Marco and Ax, and then we could get out.

That was when I tripped on air, and went sprawling across the floor. My wrist throbbed with pain. I cursed profanely in Yeerk, and then I looked up.

Black eyes met mine. My eyes wandered down a thick scaly green-yellow snout, past a wrinkled chin and the folds of the skin in the neck. I stared at the pebbled body and the four thick splayed legs ending in long claws.

Even worse. I stared at the large blades that cropped up on its head, and down its back. The way the feet showed characteristics of talons. How the eyes betrayed it's ravenous, never-ending hunger.

Oh. No.

This wasn't supposed to happen. It was the _humans_ who Visser Three was supposed to test the Hork-Bajir/Taxxon mix with. Not on this sadly changed creature.

I was faced with a Hork-Bajir/Taxxon mix of a creature. It made me queasy and sick to my stomach. It was _unnatural._ It was unnatural just by the way that creature was looking at me.

Hunger. If you haven't ever seen a creature look at you as a potential food source, count yourself lucky. This thing was mad with hunger of a Taxxon.

And I was its main meal.

I gulped, totally numb with fear. There was no way to protect myself. There were no voices telling me what to do.

It opened its mouth in a grin. I inhaled at the sight of a thousand little serrated fangs arranged in the jaw. Taxxon teeth. They would hurt. And my wrist still ached.

And then it attacked.

It rushed towards me, and I didn't even have a chance to move. It had been barely a foot away in the first place and there was no way I could move like this.

Milliseconds before it could snack on my head; a blur of scales rushed in front of me and hit the creature head-on. There was a whirl of claws and teeth, and two creatures faced off, growling and snapping at each other.

Big difference. One was an obvious Hork-Bajir/Taxxon mix with the DNA of whatever the creature was to being with. The other was an original, unchanged Earth animal. No blades, no weird teeth, no talons, no Taxxon type of hunger.

I backed up. Most likely they were fighting for the honor of eating me alive. Joy.

The hologram was right at my back. I could just rush through and be on my way, while the two creatures battled it out. I almost did, when another Dracon beam whistled from the other side of the room, and hit something. The something squealed.

The _something..._ was alive.

I really shouldn't look.

I hesitated, really missing the voices in my head from before.

Then ran around the hologram to take a look.

* * *

No. Way.

I gaped at the steel cages that lined the walls. Each one of them crammed with one or two Earth animals.

There were all kinds. Animals with fur, animals with teeth, animals that couldn't walk, and animals with wings. And some who weren't animals, but were similar to the trees I saw from before.

And at first, I didn't realize anything was wrong. But then it dawned on me.

I saw the green beaks, the multi-eyed, and the round mouth frothing with hunger. I saw the waving skinny legs, the tough dark skin, or the gelatinous body.

And I turned away after that. My stomach felt the way it did when I first ate the berries in the tree-place.

All of those animals were experiments. They had mutated DNA strands, which most likely were failures. Most of these creatures were clearly unstable, unable to control, unable to live more than a few hours at most. It was a miracle they could breathe this air.

I noticed the smoking remains of a creature in a cage, and I felt my stomach rebel harder. There's something about seeing a DNA experiment burned up that makes your stomach twist and turn in a way it shouldn't.

I also noticed the burned-off lock on an empty cage that obviously had once held the creatures that were battling on the other side of the hologram.

Speaking of which...

TSEWWWW!

It was inevitable for one of the Dracon beams to hit the fighting animals. The strange mutated creature looked horrified for a moment before it vaporized. I couldn't say that I felt very sorry for it.

The other one seemed fine. It swaggered about, looking confused at the burning dregs of the thing it was wrestling with a moment before, before it also collapsed.

I don't know why I did what I did. I know I walked over to the animal, avoiding Dracon beams, and knelt next to the helpless creature.

Its side was burned badly, probably from the heat of the blast. The wound was oozing blood and pus, but I could already tell it didn't have long to live. Maybe it was better this way, not to have to watch the horrors of the Yeerk laboratory and suffer those horrors personally. Death wasn't the greatest way to go, but you took what you could get. And this was as good as it was going to get.

The animal looked up at me. Its eyes were far apart and wild, but I could see the look of a creature that had seen nightmares. I know. I've seen that look again and again; so many times it seems that the whole world is full of people who have seen nightmares.

I reached out slowly, and the eyes watched my hand warily as I placed it on it's bumpy skin. "You know," I began conversationally. "I've heard of the phrase: One good turn deserves another. In the words of the Yeerks, that can be summed up as the word, weak."

I didn't know why I was talking to a clearly insentient creature. Sure, it had saved my life. That didn't mean I was entitled to tell it bedtime stories.

I kept talking. "The Yeerk Empire's motto is more along the lines: Every creature for itself. We don't trust. We don't do friends. We do allies, but that can't mean the same thing. Friends are weak. Allies mean strength, but no one trusts allies anyways." It wasn't much of a story.

"In any case, you helped me." I stroked its skin, and inched my hand up to pat its head. "So I guess I should help-AAARGHHH!"

It _bit _me!

It hurt, to say the least. My nerves were on fire on my fingers. The small teeth embedded themselves in my fingers, not quite as small as the Taxxon's, but serrated.

It jerked its head to the side. I had a feeling my fingers would've ripped off in normal circumstances, but the creature was weakening from the lack of blood, and didn't have as much strength.

It's eyes glared at me, challenging me. I wanted to pluck out those eyes and crush them in my hands. Oh, _ow. _

My lip curled, but I didn't say anything. I glared right back into it's eyes.

It was stupid, to say the least. Holding a staring contest with an Earth animal. But, fascinated, I watched as the eyes began to flutter shut, the grip loosened, and the body slacked.

It was dying. It-

The realization hit me like a jolt of lightning. Its DNA was being absorbed. Into my body. I was acquiring. And it was going into a trance.

The animal slumped, its heartbeat stalling, a puddle of blood lying around us. Then it lost its breath, and its head thudded to the ground and stayed. Dead.

And I had its DNA.

Is it strange to say that I felt like I stole something? And right at someone's death bed. Strange that I would care. Stranger that I cared more for an Earth animal than I did for many of the other sentient I had killed before.

I straightened. No use hanging around. It was back to the pool.

I gave the other animals in the cages a pitying look. Two more had died from Dracon beam blasts. Unfortunate-

And then I knew. Perfect distraction.

I had already morphed a red-tail hawk. I remembered concentrating hard on the creature and not panicking while the changes occurred.

Same concept, applied to a different animal. I felt the bumpy skin covering my arms, the claws shooting out of my hands.

My smooth teeth hardened and shrank to little nubs of triangular bumps, but more than before. At least fifty, if not sixty.

My body lengthened so for a moment I was an elongated piece of meat. Not a great image.

I felt my eyes move farther apart, on either side of my head. It was strange adjusting to the different views. Bones cracked and creaked as my internal systems rearranged themselves, the nose stretching out farther and farther.

My legs and arms were the same length, powerful and thick, capable of sprinting, but not long-distance.

I blinked. I could see, not far, but good enough. There were muted colors and shapes, and I found my hearing range was narrowed. High and low sounds I could hear before couldn't be heard in this shape. And I could smell pretty well, though. Much better than the human nose.

And then the animal brain moved in.

It reminded me a Yeerk. Somewhat lazy, but able to move when given the motive. It could be vicious, could be violent, but didn't feel like it. It wanted to sleep, mostly. And eat, when it was hungry. Maybe it'd snack on one of those things in those metal boxes later.

And it was cold. So unbelievably cold. It didn't care. It didn't need to care, it didn't want to care. Life was good for itself and that's all that needed to matter. Every creature for itself indeed.

_Food. _I turned my eyes to the other animals. My tongue flicked out, which I noted with amusement, was much longer than my human one, and could scent things.

The creature wanted to eat. The creature wanted to sink its teeth in, jerk, rip, and tear-

That creature wasn't me. _I _was me. I couldn't forget that.

Plus I had a job to do.

I waddled- because that was the only way to describe it- over to the cages. Each had a sophisticated lock on it that even Hork-Bajir couldn't rip off.

I wasn't a Hork-Bajir. I locked my jaws on the cage door, jerked my head, and ripped. The lock came off, easily.

The animals didn't bother coming out. Well, of course, they didn't. They were traumatized. A strange animal had shifted into another scary animal and was ripping apart their cages. And strange beams of light were killing off their other friends. I mean, I would be scared, too.

Did I care?

No.

I charged at them from behind, and most, if not all, ran. The ones that didn't run, lunged for me, and hung on. I ran, those animals swinging from my skin like ornaments.

The bites didn't really hurt. I mean, I felt it. But it didn't cause me any pain. Because that was how this creature was like. Acknowledge the pain, and move on. Don't let pain slow you down. When you want to go, you go.

And so I chased those animals into the hologram.

The first couple of animals at the lead of the stampede were picked off by Dracon beams. Most of the animals tried to back up, as the view abruptly changed from a steel room into trees and forests, but it was too late to go back.

Those animals ran towards the fighting, right into a few Hork-Bajir. They didn't go into the water, but that was ok, since the fighting must've moved onto the land.

I growled, and launched myself at a Hork-Bajir harassing Marco.

(Holy-) He said, and yelled several other words that I didn't think were meant to be compliments.

I ignored him. I ripped and tore, and ripped and tore my way through the Hork-Bajir. Screams and bellows radiated through the trees. Adrenaline surged into my system, stimulating the animal and me. Those screams were loud enough for me to hear, and enraged the animal.

A Hork-Bajir slashed unexpectedly, and a small wound appeared on my neck. No problem. I dispatched the Hork-Bajir efficiently.

A Dracon beam headed for me. Oh, wow. That was a problem.

It glanced off my shoulder. Considering the circumstances, I was relatively lucky.

But it hurt like- it hurt. A lot.

(That's it, we're going.) Marco reported, and then proceeded to pick me up, not without difficulty. I battled against him, in the heat of the fight.

(Ah, great.) Marco complained. (We got a mini-Rachel. Come on, Ax, we found Madi, let's go.)

(Agreed, Marco. The exit is in the northwest direction. I will lead.) Aximili, jumping over a fallen Hork-Bajir, a few more on his tail.

I wanted to argue. But we were outnumbered, and there would be more fights. More chances to use this wonderful creature's body.

I didn't say a word, but let the Andalite lead and Marco hold me, as we ran out of that pit of death.

**Eh. Not so good. Long, kinda tedious. Gotta work on that. **

**Next part is where you see the other Animorphs, and Madi and Marco work out their sexual fustrations- kidding, kidding. She's _nine, _for heaven's sake. I'm not that evil. **

**voodooqueen126: Interesting point. The way I think of it is this: Madra is the kind of person who has built up walls all around herself. She doesn't trust anyone. What she _does _have going for her is her instinct for survival, which the Yeerks hammered in her. Each Yeerk she has ever gone through tells her the same thing: Do what you have to and survive. Madra might be crazy, but she's not stupid. She listens to the Yeerks and uses their advice in whatever she does. She's strong because in the Yeerk Empire, there's no place for weakness. She had to be strong to live. She had to know how to cope, or else she couldn't make it that far. Madra also has Darwin, her brother who gave her hope in her darker times, and you'll see some of that later. Thanks for your views. **

**metamorphstorm: I'm actually surprised you read the newest chapter so quickly. I thought it would take a while for people to actually realize the story updated and read it. I had to reread my own story too, actually, because I forgot where I left off lol. Nice thing is I know where I'm going and what I'm going to do. Plus I've written out the ending after a loooooong debate about it, so that's good. Thanks for your review! **

**Yeah. So follow your cursor and press the blue button on the left hand side. Bless you forever if you do. Remember to review! **


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: Do I have to? *makes pouty face* Yeah, you get the drill. It doesn't belong to me. *sobs***

**This chapter kinda wrote itself, and all I had to do was watch my fingers do the typing. Fascinating. **

**Not bad, not bad. Explanations chapter, and a bit of pointless humor at the end, so it's all good. **

**That being said: Read! And review. **

**Chapter Eleven:**

"What. Happened." Jake asked.

Marco squirmed, obviously not happy with the way Jake's gaze landed directly on him. "The good news is we found the Yeerk pool."

Rachel raised an eyebrow. "Didn't anyone ever tell you that you always start with the bad news?"

"Well, thanks a load for telling me now." Marco snarled back.

We were in the barn, Cassie feeding a particularly unwilling bird she called a goose. Rachel leaned against a wall, glaring at the council held in the middle. The group of victims was Marco, Ax, and I. Jake was pacing, looking rather….unpleasant.

"And the bad news?" Jake looked at Marco, but I answered.

"We wandered into the Yeerk pool and were nearly killed." I replied flatly. Marco sent me an angry look, but I shrugged. No use avoiding the truth.

Jake set his gaze on me. I met it head-on. It wasn't probably the smartest thing.

"Didn't Tobias tell you to stay outside?" He asked slowly.

Oh, yeah. I had forgotten. "Yes he did." My mind whirled, trying to think of sizable excuses.

"So why didn't you?"

"I was worried that Marco and Aximili might encounter trouble. I knew that they didn't know they were heading into a Yeerk pool, and that an early warning might help." I said with a straight face.

Now it wasn't just Jake. It was Cassie and Rachel as well. And Tobias, but he couldn't help his stare; he had hawk eyes after all.

I felt like an experiment. I set my jaw and waited for the scrutinizing to be over. Honestly, these children could've been in The Council of Thirteen. They certainly had the knack of making people nervous.

It made me wonder why I was so nervous in front of these children. They were simply that-children. The Council of Thirteen was known for torturing and maiming and killing people. They were experts at causing pain.

That's where I stopped. What about the Animorphs then? They had tortured and maimed and killed and caused pain. In the heat of a battle, anything could be justified. And that boy David who wasn't here any longer…the boy they wouldn't tell me anything else about other than the fact that he existed…

Jake sighed, and ran his hand through his hair. "You really should've stayed outside."

"I'm sorry." I murmured, bowing my head in defeat. I had to stay low. I couldn't cause so many discrepancies, for who knew what Jake's limit was?

But then my mouth ran away. "What about Marco and Ax?" I found myself saying. "They went in the first place. If they hadn't, true, we wouldn't have found the Yeerk pool. But they caused unnecessary trouble because of it."

Where had _that_ come from? For a moment, I thought there was something controlling my mouth. Something making me say that. But no, I must've imagined it.

My heart thudded at the look on Jake's face. Uh-

"They got yelled at earlier." Rachel smirked. "While we were heading here, in bird morph. Jake used private thought-speak."

I should've relaxed. But I couldn't. My gut instincts were yelling something at me, but I couldn't make it out.

"It wasn't really my fault." Marco grumbled. "Ax's never gone on a roller coaster, and earlier he was going after the cotton candy. I had to do _something_."

(The pink cloud was full of strange chemical reactions.) Ax defended himself. (I was only trying-)

"Denial. It's not just a river in Egypt." Rachel sang.

Marco added. "Dude, you knocked over Mr. Chapman, nearly strangled the guy at the booth, and scared away the two chicks I was chatting up."

"Marco, have you ever thought about the fact that they might've been scared away by you and your fat mouth?"

"They weren't. HAH!" He waved around a small piece of paper as if it were the key to the universe. Well, maybe it was. In a Marco-sized universe.

Rachel eyed the slip warily. "You've finally discovered the use for paper? Congrats Marco, you're only two thousand years behind the evolution of humans. What's next? Toilet paper?"

"Nope. It's got the blonde chick's number."

We blinked.

Rachel finally muttered, "Well. Didn't see that one coming."

Marco grinned in her face, looking smug. Jake stepped in before Rachel could hit him. "You do know that there's a good chance she's a Controller."

Marco dropped the smile. "It's just one date. I mean, you can check. Actually, I'll check her out as well." He grinned wolfishly.

They were organized, they were smart, and they knew what to do. They were cautious and prepared.

And that's when I realized.

"Ax." I suddenly said. "And Marco. They should've known something was wrong."

I closed my eyes, remembering those moments. "The minute they walked in. They should've known. The maze, Ax would've remembered. The cameras, Ax should've recognized. The crowd they saw…they would've seen well-known Controllers in the crowd. Ax could've contacted us, all through the maze. They didn't have to go ahead to the tunnel. If they were taken unawares, if they realized the danger…they would've gotten out first. They wouldn't have gone ahead without telling us. Marco wouldn't have. Ax wouldn't have. But they did. Why?"

I opened my eyes, and stared accusingly at the Andalite and Marco. Ax's face was the customarily blank face of an Andalite. I was used to reading Visser Three's host's expressive face, not this young Andalite's closed look. I turned to Marco.

He was clapping. He was the only one. "Bravo, bravo." He slapped a stiffened Jake on the back. "Who would've known? She figured it out."

Cassie stepped towards me. I stepped away. "Madi-" She started.

"I don't want to know." I said quietly. "I changed my mind."

I turned away from Cassie's worried look, and started walking for the doors. I felt like I already knew enough. I felt like I would explode inside.

Marco's hand fell on my shoulder. "Hold up. You can't honestly say you don't want to know."

"Yes, I can." I didn't turn to look at him. Knowing Marco, he was smirking. "I really don't want to know."

His hand dropped from my shoulder. "I'm telling you anyways." He seemed less certain. A bit taken-aback. Like I had said something strange.

I turned around. "Ok." And I didn't say anything more.

"We were testing you. We wanted to know if we could trust you, how you would react in that kind of a situation, and if you would betray us." He said matter-of-factly. "We wanted to know if you were David."

I hadn't felt so many emotions at once in my life. I thought I had blocked all of them out. I thought I was safe if I couldn't let them get in.

"See," Jake said, looking apologetic. "We already knew about this Yeerk pool beforehand. We were prepared to use it as a test. So Marco and Ax went in as bait, and Tobias told you to stay out, and we watched to see what you would do. Tobias, Rachel and I were the Hork-Bajir. Cassie was a flea on you."

"We had to, Madi." Cassie smiled sadly. "We didn't mean for it to go that far. We didn't want to hurt you, just see what you would do."

My head was spinning with this new information. They had fooled me. These…_children…_ had utterly fooled me out. I was shocked.

It was all a fake. The battle didn't have to happen. I didn't really help out, because no one was in trouble in the first place. And to think that I honestly thought…

I didn't know _what _I thought. I didn't know _what _I hoped for. A place to belong? What a joke. Friends? Friends were weak. To do something good for once? Good…impossible.

"_I _think you did well, considering what Marco and Ax said." Rachel smiled grudgingly. "You didn't run away or give us away. You acquired another morph, too, and you totally kicked butt against the Yeerks. Good work."

"She nearly got us all killed." Marco countered. "She did well, but let's face it: She's a kid. She should've stayed out of the whole thing. If she can't listen to Jake here…"

Rachel exploded. "You know what? I'm sick of you and your stupid hypocrisy! She's nine and she did really well, and who cares if she didn't follow that direction? We don't listen to Jake half the time, and she has even less obligation to, because she doesn't even _know_ Jake all that well-"

Marco snorted. "Just because she doesn't _know_ Jake doesn't mean she doesn't need to listen to him. Are you forgetting David so easily? You remember how it all started? He didn't listen. Not because he couldn't fight well or anything, but because he was working for himself. He had his own agenda, and where did that get us? Either she listens or we drop her for good-"

Before he could finish the word, I was out the doors and was running.

I had failed. My emotions got the better of me. _Don't go soft on me. _

I was wrong. I don't think I've ever understood those words until now.

It hurt. Marco's accusations hurt something deep inside of me that had never been hurt before. It reminded me that I would never be part of their group, never be like the rest of them who were allowed to joke around and laugh. Laughing….I couldn't remember the last time I had heard myself laughing.

But it came so naturally to them. How?

But Rachel had defended me. I had pegged her for the most loyal to her group, but I managed to win her over against Marco. Of course, she probably had hated Marco from before, so it wasn't much.

That moment where I headed into the maze…why didn't I listen to Tobias? Why hadn't I stayed outside?

I knew. I had wanted to prove myself. I had thought that Tobias had said those words because he was afraid of a betrayal. And I wanted to prove that I was no David. _Don't do anything without us. _

And where had that gotten me? I was still called David.

I panted, stopping by a tree. I was a good ways from the barn, though not far enough for my tastes. "What do I have to do?" I whispered.

Hold on. Did trees-?

I looked up. Nope. Tree wasn't attacking. I was safe.

I dropped down and sat underneath the tree. No way was I climbing up the tree again and risking my wellbeing.

The sky was growing rather dark. I remembered how much I had wanted to see the sun set. I remembered how I failed.

I didn't want another failure today, so I didn't try climbing. My ego had taken all the bashing it could take.

I curled up next to the tree's body, sharing my body heat with the tree. I still couldn't tell whether the thing was alive or not, but if it was, it seemed to have forgiven me. No doubt I would've been batted away if it didn't like me.

In any case, it was good to have _one _thing on Earth that didn't try to take me down.

I fell asleep.

* * *

I woke up, my vision blurry. I was still cuddled up to the tree, I could tell. I sighed comfortably, not willing to open my eyes, and rubbed my head against its soft, warm fur.

What the-? _Fur?_

I opened my eyes and focused. _Blue _fur?

"Aaaahhhh!" I yelped, purely in shock.

(Aaaahhhh!) came a distinctly male thought-speak above me.

And suddenly the thing disappeared, and I was falling to the hard ground. "Aaaaahhhhhh!"

(Aaaaahhhhhh!) Another male voice. Different from the first. I recognized it as Tobias.

"Aaaaahhhhhhh!" I yelled back, and straightened myself out.

I knelt on the ground, my hair falling into my eyes. I brushed it away impatiently and looked up for the danger.

"….."

(……)

(…….)

(You-ah- dropped her, Ax.) Tobias state quite obviously.

(She screamed.) Ax accused. Also, quite obviously.

"Someone was carrying me." I said, quite obviously. We really needed to get away from the obvious.

(You were asleep.) Tobias replied. (It was dark and Cassie got worried when you didn't come back. We spent all night looking for you.)

"It's still night." I pointed out.

(Whatever. What were you doing out there?)

"I was sharing body warmth with a tree." I stood up coolly.

Ax and Tobias shared looks. (Right.) Tobias managed finally. (We'll just tell Cassie she was out here for a good cause.)

I blinked uncertainly, and then regained my confidence. "The Andalite is _not_ carrying me." I stated firmly, trying to cover my mistake, and started walking.

And hit a tree. Hard. Huh. The trees _still _didn't forgive me? After I had shared body warmth?

I bounced back and landed on the ground. My rear muscles screamed in pain.

(Madi. The barn is to the northwest, not the northeast. Surely you can do something as simple as finding the northwest?) Stupid Andalite seemed pleasantly amused.

"Of course I can." I gritted my teeth, disorientated, but looked up and mapped out the stars. "Northwest. That way." I pointed, and we walked there, the Andalite flanking me, and Tobias flying overhead.

(How- how do you _do_ that?) Tobias asked, shocked. (I mean, Ax is an Andalite, he would know directions. But, you've never been in Girls Scouts or anything so-)

"The stars lead the way." I replied. "You mean to tell me humans can't find directions? On their own planet? That's pathetic."

The Andalite chuckled, to my surprise. (It is rather strange.)

"You know what is stranger? Waking up in the arms of an Andalite. Don't Andalites have weak arms? I'm surprise he could hold up my body weight-"

Tobias snorted. (That's because you're way too light. What have you been eating- grass?)

"And an ant-"

(Yes, we know.)

We walked back in silence, and I found myself glancing up at the two creatures next to me. Both clearly loners, I had never really taken a good look at them.

I was a loner, too. Big difference though: They belonged in the group. They had found comfort with each other, as different as they were.

How? I wondered. One was a nothlit, and the other was the only one of his species for light-years away. And me? I was the nine-year old former Controller. Someone they still couldn't trust, and wouldn't trust. Not that I could blame them much, now that I thought on it. The boy Marco, I thought grudgingly, deserved more credit than I gave him. His paranoia might've been the only thing that kept them from being killed at one time.

Actually, if you thought about it, he acted kinda like me. That was a disturbing thought.

I sighed. The rush of feelings was over. I felt more like myself, the emotions all locked up and safe.

And I couldn't care less if they hated me or not, now. I could face it. Whatever it was. It was just another argument with Marco. Idiot boy.

He wouldn't slow me down. He wouldn't stop me from going on and being a part of this group.

And in the barn, later, sleeping on the stack of hay, remembering the look Cassie had given me, and the way she nodded her head, made me realize that the argument with Marco had been another test. A way to see if I would break down, if I would be unable to handle the emotions that came with the battle.

Ingenious. It was brilliant.

So when Cassie came back to check on me, I nodded to her. And I knew she understood, that I understood what she did.

For once, I felt like I belonged. I didn't understand much, but I understood enough to know that I was in the group.

**Coulda been better, coulda been worse. Go figure. **

**Notes for the next chapter: Marco is shutting up because the Animorphs hammered him, Jake is being more involved because I'm hammering myself for his lack of involvement, and Cassie is talking more because she's just cool like that. **

**metamorphstorm: Oh! Smart idea. I usually don't think that way. Gah. Anyways, when I was new to this whole thing, I had no idea about answering to reviews and stuff, so I was completely and utterly clueless about that. Took me a while to figure out what those words on the bottom of the page were for. lol. **

**wordcrafter: Ooh! New reviewer. Thanks for your review. Yeah, I'm glad I was able to think of a non-Mary Sue character. And the animal? Hah. Good luck figuring that one out. It's not some creature most people are familiar with. I doubt Marco even knew. And until Madra morphs it again (which won't be soon) the creature won't really be brought up. I'll give you a hint, though: It's a reptile. Kudos to you if you get it. **

**Thanks for all your reviews and everything because you're all awesome like that. Remember to review/flame/criticize for this chapter too!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: You know the drill. No, I do not own Animorphs, Anne Rice, Jessica Simpson, the Ring, or anything else that you can think of, that's in here. **

**Argh. Bad ending. I ended it because the original chapter was near 7000 words....and I decided to keep the same chapter length I kept before. So I cut the chapter in half, which is why the ending is kinda choppy, but oh well. It works. **

**Ah. Finals are coming up, and projects are being due, so don't be surprised if it takes up to a week for me to get one of these things up. So far, I'm ok. **

**Anyways, I won't bore you. And here is the moment you've all been waiting for...**

**Chapter Twelve:**

Pink. That's what I thought of first after hours of torture and time.

My head was killing me. My face felt strange and even the roots of my hair hurt. Even in Visser Three's torture chamber, the roots of my hair didn't hurt.

There was some very fruity smell coming from somewhere that I couldn't quite place. I sniffed under my armpits.

_I _smelled like that? When did I smell like _food?_

I gulped nervously, watching the two older girls fussing with my hair. If I smelled like food, did that mean people would try to eat me?

I didn't want to be eaten. And my collar was itching at me. And my face didn't feel like my face. And my hair _hurt. _

They straightened and took a good look at me. I picked nervously at the shirt I was wearing. Mentally, I begged not to be eaten.

"Madi." Rachel gasped. "You look-"

I glanced curiously at the clothes-obsessed girl and turned to Cassie, who was grinning at me. "I have to admit, it's a pretty good look, Rachel."

"What are you talking about?" Rachel argued. "_Pretty _good?! She's perfect! She's just so- cute!"

Rachel hugged me tight and wheeled me around to face the mirror. I stared at myself in the full-length mirror.

I had on a shirt. A _T-shirt_, as Rachel called it, which was mainly pink, with black lace around the low collar and slightly shorter sleeves, as well as the bottom of the shirt. There were dark pink _bows_ and _ribbons_ on the sleeves and bottom.

The T-shirt also overlapped the top of the _skort. _The _skort _fanned out a bit, black overlapping pieces of cloth called _ruffles_ on the bottom. The main part was pink, though, with a little black bow on the waist. They said it was similar to a _skirt, _but skirts didn't have _shorts, _which, by the way, were extremely short pants. These were black and underneath the skirt part.

My hair was brushed and washed until it made the light bounce off and reflect it. It had hurt when Rachel tore through the tangles and knots with her strange plastic object that had protruding long hard sticks on one end of it.

Rachel had also bought for me a _headband, _which went around my head and behind my ears. It held back my hair, so that was good. It was pink, but on top and to the side there was a strange winged black creature with pink stones embedded in the wings. Cassie called it a _butterfly_, which she had morphed once. She said the clip was simply a cheap plastic small model of the butterfly, and she'd show a real one to me later.

Around my neck, they had put some sort of silver chain with a metallic black and pink heart in the middle.

On my feet was some sort of shoes that had black bows on the pink cloth. I didn't bother asking what they were.

"We have got to show Jake and the others." Rachel laughed. I peered at my face that had some solid thick dark tracings around my eyes and Rachel had put pink sparkles somewhere around my eyes as well. She did something to my lips, and I noticed it was shinier and pinker. My cheeks had more pink on it than I remembered. Strange.

"Pretty, huh?" Cassie smiled at me. "Rachel likes going over the top, though, but I think you look fine. No matter what the boys say."

"Do you like it, Madi?" Rachel looked apprehensive, as if saying that I liked the clothes was the most important thing in the world to her.

I considered my reflection and decided that I didn't look too bad. The ache on my hair was going away and I managed to ignore the stuff on my face. How interesting. I looked like me, yet not like me. I still wasn't sure of the purpose of this, but it had been a good learning experience. "I think I look fine." I managed to say at last, while tracing my lips with my tongue. My lips felt heavier than usually, and they tasted better as well. The flavor was interesting and sweet. I had a sudden urge to eat my lips.

"Good!" Rachel dragged me down the stairs of her house, to a bigger room, where the "boys" were resting on the big comfy seats. I liked those. They felt much better than the hard seats of the Blade ship.

"Well?" Rachel asked expectantly as I stood in front of them. I put my hands behind my back and smiled shyly, like Rachel showed me to.

They gaped.

"So…" Cassie put in.

They gaped.

"Jake!" Rachel snapped at the leader, and he nearly fell off his seat, looking rather shocked. "You start."

"Ahh…" He scratched his head, looking around for help. When no help came, he turned back around, wincing at the look on Rachel's face. "It's very…."

Cassie nodded encouragingly. Jake waved his hands, face steadily turning red with the effort. "…pink." He immediately winced.

Marco came alive at Jake's words, and dropped his head onto Jake's shoulder, snickering. Ok, it was more like a "BWAH-HAH-HAH-HAH". Minor technicality.

Rachel and Cassie shared a look. "Good job Jake." Rachel said sarcastically. "You know your colors. Ax?"

"She looks yummy. Uh-uh-uh-mmeeeee. Yuh-yuh. Like a cake." Ax explained. He was eating small colored pellets, and there were numerous colorful packets on the table in front of him. I edged away from him. I was _not _about to be eaten.

"It's a very-um- strange look." Tobias offered.

"She looks freaking horrible." Marco managed to say. "Kinda like that freaky girl in The Ring. Wearing pink."

"A Goth-confused prep." Tobias put in.

"Anne Rice meets Jessica Simpson." Jake added.

Rachel sighed. "Ignore them." Cassie turned me towards the door and led me away. "Take my advice: Boys suck at fashion."

"Hey, wait!" Jake called out. "We're going over the plan."

Cassie looked around, and stopped. "We'll be wasting too much time, though. Ax and Tobias have been in morph for a good fifteen minutes."

"Plus we're not sitting unless you admit that Madi looks _good._" Rachel put her hands on her hips.

Jake blinked at me. "She looks good." He lied through his teeth.

"If you like raccoons." Marco muttered, and Rachel scowled as we sat down.

"Here's the plan: We need to keep an eye on the girl Marco likes. Meaning, surveillance. Now, Erek's watching her right now, but he can't keep it up all the time, so right now, we're going in."

"The things we do for you, Marco." Rachel complained, shaking her head. "So I'm with Ax?"

"Yep, and Marco's with Madi-"

"Hold on." Marco put up a hand. "I can't go with her."

"Why not?" Cassie asked.

"Because it's bad for my image. I'm supposed to be baby-sitting her, right? So how's it going to look if I'm holding hands with an emo nine-year old?"

"Perfectly normal." Tobias chimed in. Marco shot him a look, and he shrugged.

"Ok." Jake scratched his head. "I guess it would be kinda strange for Marco to be baby-sitting in the first place-"

"Not kinda. Definitely." Marco insisted.

"-so I'll go with her." He turned to me. "If that's ok?"

I saw through his plan. Jake didn't want anyone else to be with me, just in case. He was scared of me. Of what I could do.

I cursed David in my head. Why did he make things so complicated?

"That's fine." Well, it wasn't, but a little white lie never hurt anyone, did it?

"Then it's me, Cassie, and Marco up in the air." Tobias said, as we stood up. Jake grabbed my hand, and Ax handed me a white stick with a big red flat circle on top.

"Lick it with your tongue." He instructed. "It tasted good and I have observed many smaller children eating them. They're called- I believe- mollyhops."

"Lollipops, Ax." Cassie corrected.

"LLLLLLLLL-" Ax played with the word.

I nodded and obediently stuck it in my mouth. My eyes narrowed.

"Not the wrapper." Marco sighed. He pulled it out and gingerly tore open the clear plastic.

"Ah. Artificial skin." I nodded. "Earth seems to like covering many things with artificial skin."

"She kinda reminds you of someone, huh Ax?" Tobias said dryly, as he started to morph.

I watched, rather fascinated, as Marco, Cassie, and Tobias's bodies started to crumple and mold into bird forms.

"Come on." Jake led me off, as Rachel did the same with Ax. "Time to go."

* * *

I stared. I had gone into town a week before, but just going there again made me stare.

All different sorts of people wandered the streets. They were all different shades and colors, with different colored hair and strange clothing. Some even had strange metal spikes speared through their faces and ears. There were dogs and cats on leashes, and people talking and walking all around.

And the noise! Vehicles raced past, making horrible blaring noises, and I laughed when I saw the three round dots of light flash: red, yellow, green.

"I see." I said faintly. "The green represents that the vehicles in a specific row may go as they wish, but red means they must stop." I turned to Jake. "What does the yellow mean?"

(Means hang on.) Marco called from above. He and Cassie and Tobias were all flying above us. I spotted Rachel and Ax across the street, Rachel restraining Ax from running after a big truck with soft music floating, and children behind it calling for "ice cream".

Jake had to hold me back, as I turned around and stared at a group of children leaning against the wall, who saluted to me as we passed. "Hello." I called.

"Want one, kid?" The girl with purple streaked hair handed me a rolled up white thin tube. "They're good-"

"No, thank you." Jake said loudly, and pushed me away.

"She said they were good." I protested. "And she wore similar clothing."

(Couple of Goth delinquents.) Tobias answered Rachel's question. (They were trying to give Madi a cigarette.)

(You have to be careful out here.) Marco told me. (People out here are psychotic. Don't take things from strangers. Hey Jake, aren't you supposed to be teaching her this stuff?)

Jake sighed. "Don't take anything unless I tell you to, Madi." He told me, and then asked the birds. "Where's your girlfriend, Laurel, going, Marco?"

(She's actually been heading towards the school.) Cassie answered.

(School's closed today, though.) Tobias said slowly.

(She's a Controller. Has to be. She's going to visit Chapman or something, right? Aw, man, and she was hot, too.) Marco sighed.

"Make sure she's going to the school to visit Chapman first." Jake cautioned.

Now we were moving quicker. My legs pumped to keep up with Jake's wide stride. I glared at the skort that Rachel had made me where. Infernal contraption. I couldn't move in this.

(Wait...wait...) Cassie said tersely. (Ok, yeah, she's in the school parking lot, and headed straight for the doors. What should we do, Jake?)

Jake paused at a big green bush. Beyond that was a big red building, and a small figure was heading for the doors. "Ok, Madi. Now we're going to run. See that big green bin?" He pointed.

I looked. It was leaning against the building. "Yes."

"Cassie, tell Rachel and Ax to meet us at the Dumpster." To me, "Stay with me, and run to the bin. Ok?"

I nodded. He looked around the empty lot, and then broke out in a run.

I moved. Jake slowed down a little to accommodate my speed, as my short legs moved furiously to keep up. The shoes weren't making it easy, either.

(You guys look stupid.) Marco offered helpfully.

We came to a stop behind the Dumpster. I put my hands on my knees, panting hard. I hadn't had to run in a while. Not like that, anyways.

Rachel and Ax skidded up. "Hey." She sounded a bit breathless.

(Laurel's in.) Cassie reported. (She's moving across the hall.)

(Make your move now, Jake.) Marco said.

"Ok." Jake beckoned us closer. "Rachel and Ax stay behind as backup. Madi and I go ahead, and inside."

"Huh?" I blinked. How would that work?

"Here." Jake hesitated, tugging on my shirt, and then sighed. "I feel like a pedophile. Rachel, can you take her clothes off?"

(Awkward.) Tobias laughed dryly.

"Just keep watching." Jake hissed, pulling off his shirt, to reveal his morphing outfit. Rachel finished pulling off my skort, and I stood in my leotard.

"There's a window up here." Rachel laced her fingers together, and put them at about knee height. "Madi. Put your foot on my hands. Ax, help."

Jake jumped and scrambled up the window, disappearing quickly inside. His head popped back up. "I'll help."

I gingerly put my foot on Rachel's hands, and supported myself with Ax's shoulder. Jake's hands clutched me, as I kicked out with my feet, hanging half in and half out.

I felt Rachel and Ax pushing hard. "This is not a particularly...easy...deed..." Ax panted.

(Yeah, I know. Students sneaking _into_ the school?) Cassie laughed.

And then I was sliding on my stomach into the window, caught sight of Jake's surprised face, as my head slammed into his stomach. He let out a "oomph" of air, as he fell backwards.

We fell hard. I opened my eyes a crack to find myself lying on top of Jake.

(Oh, god.) Marco groaned. (That's not a good picture.)

Quickly, Jake and I scrambled up, brushing ourselves out. Jake's face slowly started to turn a red color.

"I'm sorry." I managed humbly. I felt rather scarred.

"No, it's fine." He mumbled back, sounding as embarrassed as I felt.

(Hey, lovebirds.) Marco said. (Hurry up. Laurel's going to reach Chapman's office before you.)

I followed Jake to the door of the classroom we were in. There were rows of gray desks and chairs. I maneuvered past them, to the door.

Jake peeked out the small window at the top of the door. "All clear." He grabbed the gray handle of the door, and turned it.

The minute we were outside, Jake started running again. I sighed, not happy about all the running, and then hurried to catch up.

It was surprisingly easy to move in a leotard. We whizzed past white walls and posters and doors and...I couldn't count the things I saw. I stopped trying, and focused on our mission.

Jake slowed to a stop at a corner. I bumped into his back, surprised.

He held up a hand and peeked around the corner. I leaned back, just breathing.

"Ok." He whispered. "You have a fly morph, right?"

I blinked, surprised. "Yes. You want me to morph that?"

He nodded. "Do it now." I started to focus, when he caught my wrist, making me stop. "Remember to control the fly brain. It's going to be hard, but try to control it."

We both focused. I pictured the fly, and then felt myself shrink.

The fly. I remembered how small it was the last time, remembered the Taxxon-like arms and legs. It had six.

An extra pair sprouted from my chest. My arms and legs were getting thinner and harder. Small hairs appeared on the limbs.

My mouth disappeared and became a long tube. My hair shrunk back, my head got bigger compared to the rest of my body.

I must've been ugly. I wouldn't know, because then my vision shattered. My eyes grew wider, the perceptions becoming more and more numerous, and in different colors based on the different light rays.

I didn't even feel the wings come in. But without turning my head around, I saw the wings growing on my back, big gossamer things.

(Interesting.) I said. (This creature doesn't need to turn around to see. That's efficient.)

(Mad?) Jake asked, surprised. (You don't have any trouble controlling the fly brain?)

I paused, feeling the fly brain come in. It weakly tried to gain control, and I crushed the resistance. (No trouble.)

(Must be from being a Controller.) Cassie philosophized.

(Ok, just follow me, Madi.) I saw another fly's wings flap. Except flap wasn't the word for it, because flapping would mean the slow rhythm of moving wings. This was more like buzzing. Quick movements of the wings.

I accessed the fly brain, and learned how to fly. I moved my wings.

(Oh!) I yelled out, as I suddenly _moved. _

It was so fast, so quick, it was like being in an aircraft, on the outside. That was what I was like. An aircraft, soaring about.

And all because of two strange-shaped clear things on my back. Incredible.

(Follow me.) Jake called, and I turned, quickly, easily, to follow him. The reflexes of this tiny creature was insane. So fast.

The vision was still broken up, but it wasn't that hard to understand it. My directions were muddled, but otherwise, everything was fine.

(Ready?) Jake asked. I rolled in midair, getting used to the body.

(Yes.) I said. (I'm ready.)

**See? Bad ending. I put in so many descriptions and stuff. The good part isn't even here yet. **

**But...you get some interaction with Madi and the other Animorphs. Which is good. **

**Feel like Madi doesn't talk. Which _should _bother me, but it doesn't. Probably because Madi's character doesn't really talk. She talks to herself, sure, but not to anyone else. lol**

**metamorphstorm: Yeah, Madi is kinda freaky, right? But that's why I love her. She's so scary, and so weird. *eyeroll* I always thought the Animorphs needed a goth. And I think of Madi as a typical emo/Goth girl. Goths are cool. I always wanted to be a Goth. lol**

**wordcrafter: I give you cookies. Lots of them. Yes, it is a Komodo dragon. *cheers and waves around a banner while blowing on a party blowout thing* Cool animals. If I could morph, I wouldn't mind going komodo. Gila monster isn't a bad guess, but it wasn't big or fast enough for me. And you'll see, Madi needs to be big and fast later. **

**So yeah. Remember, reviewing is cool. And I'll love you to bits if you do. (Which actually sounds kinda painful if you think about it...)**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I don't own it. Sad, I know.**

**Gods. This was eleven pages. I feel...dead. *flash* There goes my lightbulb. **

**A longer chapter, but that's ok, I guess. I couldn't upload over the weekend, so sorry, but I had last-minute homework to do. And then there's MCAS....horrible. **

**Summer's right around the corner on the other hand. So all's well that ends well. **

**Remember to review at the end! **

**Chapter Thirteen:**

(Where _are _we?) I asked Jake.

(Chapman's office.)

(A Controller's office?) I looked around. (Yeerks are Spartan creatures; they shouldn't have so many objects-)

(Yeah, but Chapman is also a human-Controller on Earth. You have to remember that he's a vice principal of the school. He can't seem like a Yeerk or it'll be suspicious.)

(Right.) We were underneath a big brown desk. At least, I _think _it was brown. The problem with fly eyes is that nothing is the right color. They see UV light and micro waves and many other rays from the light spectrum that humans usually don't see.

I looked to the left, where the girl that Marco liked, the girl Laurel, her legs like thick trunks, crossed under the chair. I studied the view of her legs, greatly appreciating the fly's vision. I never knew that someone could have golden hair, but dark leg hair.

"Welcome, Tedriss three-six-four of the Sulp Niaar Pool. May the Kandrona shine and strengthen you." The vibrations shook the air all around us. I gasped when the fly instincts took me by surprise, and my wings were suddenly moving.

I hadn't been paying any attention to the fly instincts. And the minute it heard a voice, it was off.

Flies, by the way, move at incredible speeds. Relatively speaking, of course. I should've expected it, because the smaller you are, the quicker or stronger you are. On this planet, anyways. It felt as if I was on the outside of a Bug fighter, strapped down, and hurtling through space. So fast, and all it took was one command to the wings.

Not very efficient, though. A bird flew much longer distances, but a fly could fly much faster and had reflexes ten times better than a bird.

Back to the situation at hand. (Madi! What are you doing?) Jake called. I noted sourly that he had controlled his fly instincts enough so that he didn't go flying off the desk and into the air.

(Fly instincts.) I sighed. I regained control, and stopped moving. That's another thing about flies. When they wanted to stop, they would. No slowdown, no jerking, just a smooth clean halt. I wished we had spacecraft like this.

(I thought you had no problem with that.) Jake rose in the air next to me. We were out from underneath the desk and somewhere near the surface of the desk.

(Ah, well, I temporarily lost control at the sound of the voices.) I admitted.

(That's alright. Come on, let's land on the desk, it's dark-colored, right? We'll blend right in.)

"And to you, Iniss two-two-six." Laurel's voice said. I landed smoothly on the polished desk. Another smooth landing. Now I really wished we had spacecraft like this.

(Well, that settles it. She's a Controller.) Jake announced.

(Really?)

(Marco! Where _are _you?)

(Above your heads, probably. We all morphed bird, and we're on the roof right now.)

"Greetings, Tedriss. I personally asked for you to come here, concerning the construction on the new Yeerk pool." The other voice, who must've been Chapman, said. His voice was much lower than Laurel's. I shifted, still not comfortable with the vibrations being so close. I crushed the fly brain ruthlessly.

(Please don't tell me you all perched on the roof.) Jake pleaded.

(Aw, come on. Give us some credit, oh fearless leader.) This was Rachel. (You think Paranoia here would've let us all perch in the same area?)

(Your turn to fly cover, Baldie.) Marco teased.

(I'm a bald eagle, not bald!)

"The construction is going well. We have a new shipment of Hork-Bajir and Taxxons to work on the building. And we have recruited five new human guards. There is expected to be more this coming week."

"And the attacks?" Chapman was swift to ask.

Laurel lowered her voice. "Those who let in the filth were disposed of." She paused. "Slowly."

"It's not enough." Chapman shook his head. "We must make no more mistakes. You know Visser Three. He will have our heads and our guts if we do not guard the pool better."

Yes. We all knew Visser Three. I remembered the fear and pain I had felt before every time I was in his presence. Every time.

The lucky Yeerk never met Visser Three. The lucky Yeerk was not a Yeerk. All Yeerks had this innate part of their mind that urged them to reach for the highest possible rank. All the Yeerks dreamed of reaching Visser Three's rank. To reach there, you had to work up the ranks. And the closer you got to the Visser's rank, the more encounters you would have with the Visser. And with his temper? It was guaranteed that you would feel fear because of him at least once.

We- The Yeerks- operated on fear. Fear was good to keep people in line. I had never questioned that.

"I want the pool guarded with Hork-Bajir at night. The traps will have to stay, if we are concentrating all efforts on the mutations and the Gleet Biofilters. How are they working, by the way?"

"The Gleet Biofilters are exceptional." Laurel said with pride. "We actually have a sample- hold on." Laurel suddenly reached for her purse.

Through my weird vision, I saw her take out a bottle out of her purse. It had the look of the thing that Rachel had used on me, to make me smell fruity. What was it? Peroom? No, perfeme? Per-

(A perfume bottle?) Jake asked skeptically. (She's going to spray us?)

And it clicked. (Out of the way!) I yelled and launched myself up. I pushed my fly body into Jake's.

(What?) He snapped, but I had already carried his fly body up and back.

There was a whirlwind of scents that swept us both out far out. I felt it hit my body and I braced for the pain.

Surprisingly, there was none. I ran through the calculations. We weren't far enough away for there to be no damage, so-?

(Madi, what _was_ that?)

(Gleet Biofilter.) I said absentmindedly. (Aximili. We were not killed in the blast radius of approximately three feet. No injuries were sustained. Last I heard, the Gleet Biofilter had complications. What do you suppose happened?)

(You can't figure it out?) Stupid Andalite was amused. (The killing rate has gone down. The Yeerks must have decreased the speed of the pain and death by increasing the radius of the blast. I can calculate how drawn out the death will be if you give me the distance. How far were you from the Biofilter?)

(Shut up, Andalite.) I snarled. (I didn't ask for a calculation on the rate of death. I asked for a reason. It's your technology, you should know.)

(Listening to them is like listening to a couple of geeks fighting over test results.) Rachel observed.

(Only one of them is a Cinnabon-loving alien and the other is a nine-year old Gothic Einstein.) Marco put in. (Man, do you know how weird life has gotten?)

(We have eight human minutes until our cells implode.) I called out. (Starting now.)

(Human- what the-) Marco sputtered. (What is up with you guys and messing up the minutes system? It's simple, work with me, people. They're not _our_ minutes, or _earth _minutes, or _human _minutes. You're on Earth, they're _everyone's_ minutes.)

(What is he talking about?) I asked Ax.

(I have no idea.) He answered solemnly.

(Just keep track of time, Ax-man.) Jake commanded, cutting Marco off.

(Yes, Prince Jake.)

"You see." Laurel showed off her bottle as we landed on the desk again. "We have concocted a liquid version of the Gleet Biofilter, which will then be used as human sprays, and anyone can spray around them if they suspect Andalites."

"Impressive." Chapman reached out to take the bottle and inspected it. "Has it any weaknesses?"

Laurel sighed and took back the bottle. "Our scientists are currently trying to find a way to make it more powerful. Newest Gleet Biofilters are shown to have a longer distance and accuracy of hitting organisms, but less time in killing the creature. Depending on how far the organism is to the source of the spray, it can be up to ten minutes until death occurs."

(Hold on.) Jake said. (The Gleet Biofilter _can _kill us?)

(Yes.) Ax said. (But not for several minutes. But the distance and accuracy is much improved.)

(And now they're disguising it as _perfume?_) Marco asked disgustedly. (How low can you get?)

"This will, of course, be remedied?" Chapman asked.

"Of course," Laurel reassured him. "All of the current data is being entered into the computers as well, though you can only access it at the pool."

(Well, that sucks.) Tobias said after hearing Jake give a summary of what was being said. (It means that Ax can't just hack on and delete the info. We still have to go down there and destroy that, or else we can't go anywhere without worrying about some Controller whipping out the perfume and spraying us.)

"The mutations have also been doing well." Laurel reported. "Though most of the test subjects were killed in the attack, the data was already recorded. Humans are still the best test subject on the planet."

Chapman sighed. "That's a shame. We will need to find someone to test that on."

"We have several candidates already." Laurel replied. "Myself being one, of course." She sounded proud as she puffed out her chest.

(That's demented.) Marco said after we told them what was going on. (You're using your body-well, your host's body- to do this experiment that's probably not going to work. And you might die in it. Me? Sayonara, dudes, I wouldn't do it. I like my body.)

(You mean your short fat-headed body?) Rachel sneered.

(No. I mean the toned, muscled one that all the girls want to-)

(We're keeping this PG Marco.) Tobias warned. (We have a minor in the building.)

(I just feel bad about all the animals killed off for their experiments.) Cassie said softly. (I'm kinda glad that most of those experiments didn't work, you know? Because now their species doesn't have to undergo the rest of the mutations.)

(Yeah, but now, we do.) Marco complained. (Why did our A and T and G and Z's have to match up with the Hork-Bajir's A's and T's and-)

Ax and I burst out laughing. (First, humans have C, not Z.) I corrected.

(Second, Hork-Bajir have different DNA strand than humans do. Similar, but different chemicals.) Ax chuckled.

(Great. I cracked an Andalite joke. I feel nerdier every day.)

Laurel and Chapman had been discussing mutations in the meantime. I listened to their plans as the birds above us chattered and argued.

I tensed when they mentioned a human-Controller who escaped, but was sure that she was dead. I answered truthfully when Jake asked it that was me.

(Yes.) I said. (I supposed I'm lucky they believe I'm dead.)

Jake laughed. (I still can't believe you managed to avoid them for almost two weeks by now. It's kind of like the other Hork-Bajir who ran. Except we met the Ellimist on that day. He helped.)

(Right.) I drawled. Ellimists. I wasn't going to argue a fairy tale story. When I saw it, I'd believe it, but not before.

In any case, I was glad that they were still looking for me, but concentrating most their efforts on the new Yeerk pool. Smart of them, and lucky for me. I didn't get lucky most of the time, and I counted when I did.

Ax called us when we had four minutes left. But we still needed more information. We agreed on going when we had three minutes left. That would leave enough time.

It was near the end of the conversation when I heard them talking about the mutations again.

"We actually have a new Controller overseeing the mutations." Laurel informed Chapman. "You should see him if you have questions."

I tensed. A name was good. All we had gotten out of this conversation was stuff that we already knew, or stuff that I suspected.

(Three minutes, Prince Jake.) Aximili called out.

(Get out of there, you guys.) Tobias called out. (Cassie's at the doors, ready to open them for you. Anytime now.)

Jake started to drift off. (Madi?) Jake asked. (Come on, it's time to go.)

(Hold on. We're about to get a name.)

"Oh, really?" Chapman asked. "So it's not that Jetran anymore?"

"No," She smirked. "He was executed for incompetence."

"Good. He was already a hazard to us, anyways." They laughed. I waited impatiently for their humor to subside. Give the name already!

"You probably know him." Laurel continued. "He is Eskar 352."

And I froze.

Oh. No. Please. Anyone but him. He was too young. He was supposed to be on the construction team, not the mutation team. We had been on the construction team, together. He was good at it too. Why had he been moved to overseeing the mutations?

But when I thought about it…my leaving the Yeerks meant that my role would've been passed to Iress. Iress was leading the mutation team, and his role would've gone to Jetran. And if Jetran was gone, then his second-in-command was…

I had caused this. I had run, and this was what had happened.

(Jake!) This time, it was Marco. (Time to move, buddy.)

(Can't leave without Madi.) Jake answered tersely. (Just be ready. We'll make it, but be ready.)

"Eskar 352..." Chapman mused. "Isn't that the boy...?"

"Yes. That is the human boy. Darwin."

My heart stopped.

* * *

Seconds later, it restarted.

(You ok?) Jake asked me.

(I'm fine.) I managed to say. (Let us go.)

Our wings beat in unison, as we rose off the desk.

I was stewing in my own guilt. My only brother. We had to stop him. We had to free him.

But that was impossible. And how could I tell the Animorphs about my brother? They'd deem me a traitor to the group. No, I couldn't say anything. But how could I ignore the fact that my brother had to go in order to stop the Yeerks?

At the moment, though, we had more pressing matters.

"AAAHHHH!" Laurel grabbed her purse. "Flies!"

"No! Fool!" Chapman snapped. "Andalites!" He reached under his desk, and pulled out a glass jar.

(Madi! Move!)

(What's happening, Jake?)

(We just got busted. Big time.)

There was a hiss of the spray, but I moved farther away from it. Laurel shot again, this time, hitting me. It was interesting to note that the increase of hits did not affect the amount of time taken to kill the object. Another weakness of the Gleet Biofilter. I knew that if it did, I'd be dead already.

(Madi, get to the door and don't look back, whatever happens.)

(Ok.) Translation: Leave me behind if I get caught or killed. Fine by me. I could do that. It wasn't the nicest thing I could do, but it was true. But if Jake got caught, I'd certainly move out of there. As fast as possible.

I dodged a swipe from the glass jar. (We're too fast for them!) I crowed.

(Careful, Madi- AAAAHHHHHH!)

I looked back to see Jake bounce off the glass jar wall, and fall the bottom of the jar. He sprang back up, buzzing ferociously.

(Jake!) Tobias shouted.

(You ok, man?) Marco asked.

(Jake has just been captured.) I yelled.

"Hah-hah!" Chapman yelled. "I have you, little Andalite." He slid a paper underneath the jar and held it up to his eye level. "Visser Three will be _very _happy to meet you."

(Madi! Go!) Jake said. (Don't worry about me- go!)

I would've. But Laurel was not about to let me go. "Come back here, you little-" I dodged some more sprays from the Gleet Biofilter, and the minute Laurel's back was turned, I dived for the folds of her skirt.

She froze. I froze.

"The other Andalite seems to have disappeared." She said calmly. Yeerks. Screaming buffoons one minute, and the next they're act as if nothing happened. Their mood swings were incredible. Just look at Visser Three, an ideal specimen.

"That's fine." Chapman reassured her. "We still have _this_ one." He held up Jake. "He will submit and tell us anything we need to know in the Visser's ship."

(Madi?) Jake asked. (You outside yet?)

(No.)

I think I could imagine the expression on his face as he bit out the next words. (And _why_ aren't you?)

I chose to ignore that. (Rachel?) I called.

(Reinforcements are coming in. Hang in there, guys. We're coming.)

"I'll call the Visser." Laurel reached in her purse again.

(Quickly, Rachel. Laurel is calling the Visser.)

(Got it. Incoming!) She shouted.

(Wait, Rachel!) Jake yelled. (Don't- do- _anything._)

(Madi said quickly!)

CRAAASSHHHHH!

"TSSSEEEEERRRR!"

(The cavalry has arrived.) Tobias announced. He tore in, knocked over the jar, and scooped up Jake in one fluid movement. (And it is ready to haul butt. Bail, Madi.)

(What did you _do?_) Jake demanded.

(Actually, Rachel's threw the rock through the window, and now she's tearing into Chapman's face. Oh and here's Marco.)

"Andalites!" Laurel yelped, and picked up her bottle. Before she could spray Marco, he weaved in behind her and grabbed a talon-ful of her hair.

(Hey!) He yelled, startled. (She's got dark roots!)

(Told you so.) Rachel said triumphantly. (I knew it. A blonde _knows _another blonde, and she was so not blonde.)

(How can you tell?) Marco teased. (Because a blonde's too stupid to-)

(Finish that sentence and I _will_ throw this paperweight at you.)

(Listen to her, dude.) Tobias advised, braking and racing to the window. (If she doesn't hit you now, she'll do it later.)

I followed Tobias as fast as possible, as he complained about the turbulences and the space in the room. The turbulence from his wings blew me back, so I kept flying safely straight behind him, where it was slightly easier. I fought to keep up.

We hurtled through the irregular space of the broken window. Tobias opened his wings, flying even faster for the forest beyond the parking lot.

We couldn't demorph here, I realized. It was too close to the Yeerks. We needed to move farther on. But my wings would never make it to the forest in time.

Big structures closed around me. (Got you.) I heard Cassie say. (Hang on, Madi.)

(How much time?) I gasped out.

(Forty-five seconds.) Ax circled above us. (But the killing process should take at least thirty seconds.)

(Start demorphing, Madi.) Jake instructed me. I focused on the picture of myself in my head, ignoring the closed space and the fact that we were flying, and started the changes.

It grew dark and cooler, as we entered the forest. The wind tickled my spine and blew on the hair of my legs. I felt us swooping lower and lower towards the ground, until Tobias said: (Drop-off time.)

The big structures around me opened up and I found myself falling in midair. I was spinning, the wind whistling past me, the forest a blur of colors. I knew we were only ten feet above the ground, but to my fly mind, we were a hundred feet up. I would've screamed, but I was still focused on the changes.

I bounced along the ground, rolling along, and growing rapidly. I was at least five inches long, but I had normal eyes.

I looked to the left to see Jake a few feet away, his legs sucked back into his chest. He was lying on his side, his big glassy fly eyes staring.

I think I would've vomited, but I didn't have a mouth.

Jake was demorphing much faster than I. I watched as the hairs on my skin disappeared one...by....one.

I was scared. I remembered when SubVisser Fifty-One failed Visser Three once, and was dragged aboard the Blade ship to the torture chamber. Ironic, because she was in charge of torturing the Andalites with the AMR. I remembered how no one heard her because of the soundproof walls, but we all knew. I remembered how poorly I slept, shuddering awake from nightmares about what might be happening down there, and what if it were _me _one day. I remembered how the next morning, she came out alive from the torture, showing no visible injuries on her host's body. Oh, but we knew. Technology can erase the worst of injuries. Technology can hide the scars. And proud as she was, she showed nothing in her eyes but tiredness. But she knew, we knew. We knew.

That was what it was going to feel like. The Gleet Biofilter, in seconds, would start to kill me. Painfully, and slowly.

Fear of pain unites the Yeerks. That's why they invented Dracon beams. To kill, and to cause pain. Atoms ripped apart, nucleus and electron, and then proton from neutron, and quarks from quarks. It will hurt. It will break down the most stubborn, the bravest, and the strongest. Pain is stronger. Always.

My head hurt from the concentrating. I willed the rest of my fly body to melt away. Jake was almost finished. Why wasn't I?

And then the pain came.

(AAAAAARRRGGGHHHHHH!)

(AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!)

Both Jake and I screamed. Our forty-five seconds were up and we weren't finished demorphing.

(Jake! Madi! Chapman will hear you!) Marco warned. He must've come back.

(They can't help it.) Tobias shot back. (This is bad.)

"Come on, Jake." Cassie was human for some reason. "Demorph the rest of the way. Come on. You can do it. Focus."

I was suddenly aware that I was the only one screaming still. Jake must've demorphed completely. He would be fine.

I couldn't concentrate on myself. I couldn't think of anything but the pain. It felt like my limbs were slowly being ripped apart, ligament from ligament, my muscles torn from the flesh, my eyeballs pierced and dug out....

(AAAAAHHHHHH! AAAAAAHHHHH!)

Thirty seconds of pure pain. It hurt to _scream. _It hurt to lie on my back, to even think.

This was it. I was dying. On fire, speared and pierced and run through, slashed and ripped. Dying.

Someone's hand held mine. I screamed louder at the contact.

"Think, Madi." I couldn't even tell whose voice it was through the haze of red. "Remember yourself. Black hair, black eyes. Asian. Pale skin. A French mouth. Remember?"

I didn't want to breathe because it hurt to _live_. Thirty seconds? Death was taking forever.

(You can have a French chin? Fight this Madi, and you can have the cigarettes. I swear.)

(Shut up, Marco. Come on; don't die on us, Mads. Don't die...)

"Demorph, Madi. I made it, so can you."

(Reassert yourself, Madi, or you may never come back.)

(Come back, Madi. You are you. Not the pain. Don't let it take you. Your family needs you. And if not them, then _we_ need you. You're not alone.)

_You're not alone._ I shuddered. I was stronger than this. I was Madra. I was Madi. Whatever I was, I wasn't a bug. I wasn't going to die like this, lost and weak and alone.

Darwin. My brother. He needed me still. I needed to destroy the thing in his head. He needed me. He didn't win me a chance to live just so I could die.

Yes. I could beat this. For Darwin. Always.

Feet. Legs. Rear. Stomach, torso, arms, and hands. A neck. Hair, and face. Chin, mouth, nose, cheeks, eyes.

That was me.

The pain was dying down. The horror was fading.

I could see now, and I stared at the Animorphs, in human and bird form. I was perspiring greatly, soaking through my clothes.

My gaze rotated through each of them. They were all around me, with concern in their eyes. They had united with me, against the pain. So unlike the Yeerks, who united because of pain.

And then I stared at Tobias, the one who had told me I wasn't alone. The one who gave me the stuff it took to push through. I was me. And people needed me to continue.

He glared back with yellow eyes. Yes. He and I were loners. Once. We were different and unwanted. But not anymore. We weren't alone now.

I think I might've smiled at him right then. And then I blacked out.

**Poor Madi. :) Bonding moment with Tobias right there. **

**Oh, and yes, Darwin will show up. You can't expect me not to add in that little complication, can you? It makes for such a good story. **

**metamorphstorm: Goths _can _be hard to get along with. No offense to Goths in general. But they'll say funny and sarcastic things that they don't mean to be funny, which just crack me up, and make them look at me weird. And I imagine, in real life, Madi would be a pain in the butt. Oh, and Jake? I have no control over Jake right now, he completely writes himself. :) Not sure how that happened...**

**wordcrafter: "Ruthless nerd." That's what completely just stuck in my mind after I read your review. Love that phrase. Madi kinda acts ruthless and nerd-like, doesn't she? So does Ax, but differently. In my mind, anyways. And oh, Visser One. She's gonna be fun to write. She's one of those crazy pyscho Yeerks. She and Taylor and Visser Three. I love reading them, but I have yet to try writing them. Hope I don't fail. :)**

**voodooqueen126: Right. I love Harry Potter, but I've always thought that there should've been more mental people in there, especially on the "good" side not just on the dark side. Would've been interesting to read about. But that's just me being morbid. And I really doubt any of the Animorphs understand how to treat nine-year olds, since she talks like an adult, but I remember the days of milk and cookies and early bedtimes....but anyways. And Rachel was the one who dressed Madi and I purposely made it all weird, because I knew the other Animorphs would get all weird about it. Plus, it's Rachel. Who must've had a field day when she realized Madi was like a doll she could dress up. But I liked writing the chapter, that was fun. **

**Right. So remember to review! Or criticize or flame, whatever suits you!**


	14. Chapter 14

* * *

**Disclaimer: Alas! But no. **

**Anyways....has it really been that long since I last updated? Blame it on the MCAS and my finals. I swear, teachers just want to see us suffer. Blah. **

**Plus I had a headache. Which equals a writer's block. And this one was brutal. I managed to sweat this chapter out though. Still not sure how the next chaper is going to flush out. But I'll worry about it when I get there. **

**So, without further ado, let me present you with**

**Chapter Fourteen:**

I sat primly on the haystacks, watching Cassie clean out the cages and remove the animals, while the Animorphs filed in.

"So," Jake said, after we got "settled down." "We learned some stuff a few days ago."

We were currently discussing what to do with the new information we had learned from our last reconnaissance. Something had to be done, we all agreed, but what?

It was a few days after we had gone into Chapman's office as flies. Jake had given me some time to rest. I spent it watching Discovery Channel.

It had also been sixteen days since I had escaped from the Yeerk pool and left Darwin behind. Time went on without regards. For anything.

I had woken up in the barn again, carried by the Animorphs in turn, through the forest. Marco complained about how much I was "putting on", but didn't say anything more after Jake and Rachel shot him glares. Rachel had grinned cockily at me, congratulating me on the escape, while Cassie just smiled gently at me, her arm on Jake's shoulder, whispering quietly to Jake, as they had their own private conversation. Ax watched, shoving some sort of food in his mouth, too obsessed with eating to even say a word, since he only nodded. The boy, I thought as I shook my head, was the brother of the acclaimed Elfangor, and was certainly a very good fighter, but give him a slice of "pie" and he'd forget it all.

And Tobias? He didn't say anything. Not that I expected him to. He was like me. We had a little moment where we suddenly flashed, and understood what the other was going through, but it was just that- a flash. It could've been a dream.

Of all the people, I hardly expected for Tobias to be the one I identified with the most. He was so quiet, so confused, I didn't think he'd be the one to hold out a hand and pull me out of that pit of despair. I'd have to repay the favor sometime.

Now, he was on the rafters, staring down at us with golden eyes. Rachel was right beneath him, marking down answers on a worksheet. The Animorphs, I found, had "homework". It was something Marco said was "the teacher's main torture weapon", Rachel threatened to do something not very nice to the next teacher who gave her another project, and Jake groaning. Tobias said he was glad he had no hands to write it, and Cassie just grimaced. All negative responses. You had to feel bad for the humans.

"We learned," Marco cut in, leaning against the wall. "that I can't go to my date on Saturday. You know how much that sucks?"

"No, we don't, and we also don't care." Rachel snapped, looking up from her work. "We got a name. I say we hunt him down and starve out the Yeerk!"

"Yeah, but that's one person." Marco pointed out. "And we can't just starve out the Yeerks of all the people. There are too many."

"Marco's right." Jake looked up from his textbook. I eyed it dubiously. It was sure to be full of mistakes. What were human teachers thinking, stuffing children's minds with false information? "Even if we take out a couple Yeerks, even the best Yeerks, they can be replaced. We need something that will put them out of commission permanently."

"And don't forget about the mutation thing." Cassie dusted off her gloves. "Or the Gleet Biofilters. How do we deal with that?"

Rachel shrugged. "How about we work on who the heck this Controller is?" She looked at Tobias. "Did you get anything from Erek?"

(Yeah.) Tobias said from the rafters. (His name is Eskar 352, right? Ax and I checked it out with Erek. Erek couldn't get much. We know his host name is Darwin. He's about Madi's age actually, and he's good at leading the mutation crew. There was mostly some speculation as to whether he could take the job or not, but he seems to be doing pretty well.)

Erek? Who was Erek? Some sort of spy?

And whether or not he could take the job? Of course he could. Eskar was not the nicest Yeerk (was there such a thing? Nice Yeerks?) but he was no fool. What did that mean, if he could take the job?

I dismissed it. They were probably wondering if he could adjust to the difference in projects. He used to be construction. Now he was on mutations. Surely that would cause some stress.

In any case, I eagerly listened for any news at all about my brother. It seemed he was doing well. At least he was alive. Hopefully, unhurt.

"Darwin?" Cassie frowned thoughtfully. "I feel like I've heard that name before."

"Doesn't ring a bell." Marco shrugged.

I froze.

_I feel like I've heard that name before. _

_Heard that name before. _

She _had _heard that name before. Because I had told her. On the third day of being watched.

_I felt a keen pain at Cassie's words, and a new bond with Jake. "My brother..." I murmured. "He was taken, too. His name was __Darwin__. And there was no other like him."_

_(Is he still...) I heard Cassie's hesitation._

_"A Controller?" I supplied. "Yes, he still is."_

My blood ran cold and the hairs on the back of neck stood. I had given it away. She would know. Cassie was smart. She would know.

And I had _told _her. Literally handed over information that could potentially destroy me. Fool that I was, only paying attention to my own emotions. Letting them carry me away. Hadn't the Yeerks told me time after time? _Don't go soft on me. _How stupid could I _be_? How many more mistakes would I have to make before I got myself killed? If I died, it wasn't just my life on the line. It was Darwin's, too.

I could hear the distinct sounds of conversation. But I couldn't listen, much less participate. I was only aware of a sense of dread in the bottom of my stomach, sitting like a cold stone, and Cassie's look at me, boring into my back.

I couldn't look at her. I couldn't. She knew. And I knew that she knew. And she knew that I knew that she knew. And I couldn't look at her. Oh, the fool that I was! Why couldn't I keep my mouth shut? Why couldn't I use my head?

I was on the verge of panic and my instincts were on fire. Everything in me wailed, _You're dead. They will know, and it will all be for nothing. Days of building up trust, of wanting to fight, of wanting a place to live, to stay, all gone because you couldn't keep quiet. Oh, they will know. They will **know.**_

As time passed, something in me made me breath. Something in me kept me from launching myself out the door. Something in me kept the emotions from showing. And something in me reassured me.

Cassie didn't say anything. But I knew it was only a matter of time. Cassie couldn't keep secrets. She'll tell Jake, at least. And then it would be over.

No, the logical part of my mind told me. Not over yet. You have a say in this. Use your mind. Yes, use your words. And listen. _Listen._

I listened. The Animorphs were still arguing over what to do. Rachel was adamant about violence. Marco wanted to slow it down and preferred slow annihilation. Jake listened, and Cassie and Tobias added morals. Aximili was interjecting with little tidbits about how this plan wouldn't work, or the weaknesses of another.

"No!" Rachel seethed. "We go down there and take down the machinery. We trash it around as much as possible, and kill a couple of Yeerks on the way out. And if they build it again, then we do it the same thing again."

"Not working." Marco shook his head. "Every time we go down, we risk capture. And that's only going to slow the Yeerks down. It won't stop them."

My mind whirred. If we attacked the pool, then the Yeerks would get killed. And their hosts. I couldn't allow that. Darwin might be down there. Actually, he probably was. He didn't need to go to school, because he wasn't even registered, and he had to work in the laboratories. I had to keep Darwin safe. At all costs. I needed to direct the Animorphs to thinking that way. Not to target the people, but the actual experiments. But how could I-

"You're missing the point." I said smoothly, persuasively. "The key aren't the people, the hosts, the Controllers. The key is the pool itself."

Chatter stopped. My voice wasn't loud, but it was heard. People backed down and stared at me. Too late, I suddenly realized, that I hadn't talked at all. And now I was participating. Slightly suspicious.

I flushed. That was a bit stupid of me. Now they'd know I was up to something.

But they didn't know what.

Or they might brush it off, dismiss it. Marco might not, and Cassie certainly wouldn't, but everyone else might buy it.

I'd play this out. I'd play it good. For Darwin.

Jake spoke. "How do you figure?"

"Yeerks only have so many resources." I explained. "Only so much time and space. We take out the people, and the Yeerks will replace them. Humans _are _a Class five group. And there are plenty of able Yeerks." The Andalite nodded, seeing where I was going with this. Marco raised an eyebrow.

I continued, remembering the Discover Channel special. "Earth already has a limited amount of resources. Water, oil, and other materials are 'drying out' rather quickly within the past century. Earth is speculated as to no longer support human life in the future. The Yeerk's resources also come from far away, light-years away. They have a limited amount of resources. And not enough people in power to take all of Earth's resources. This project, this Yeerk pool, is a risk they are taking. If it fails, it will be a blow, not only in spirit, but in a waste of resources. The simultaneously weak and strong point of the Yeerk pool is that all of the experiments are occurring in the pool. If we destroy the pool, we destroy the experiments. We destroy the machinery, we destroy the resources. And the Yeerks will not endeavor to build another Yeerk pool. They will maintain their current one."

(Well,) Tobias said after a moment of silence. (Now I know why Ax's T.V. was on Discovery Channel today.)

(That makes sense.) Ax agreed.

"She's got me convinced." Rachel looked happy at the thought of destruction.

Cassie looked troubled. "What about the human mutations, though? We can't destroy them. They're still _human._"

"We might have to kill them." Rachel shrugged casually.

Jake looked worried now. "Can we change them back?" He looked at Ax.

I already knew his answer before he said it. (Mutations are a difficult and ......delicate task. It always has been. To return genes back to their original state would require...that is to say, it would require more energy, more resources than we possess.)

Jake nodded, accepting the fact. Cassie still looked troubled. "It doesn't make it right."

Jake laced his fingers with hers. "I know. But we can't do anything about it. I'm sorry."

They shared a look. I watched, fascinated, ignoring Marco's gagging motions in the background, until Rachel cleared her throat.

"Ok." Jake said briskly. "So we'll be going in. Destroying the Yeerk pool, not the people. Madi told us the people don't matter as much as the actual resources, so we'll kill the machines and stuff, but not the actual Yeerks. No point in that."

"And how, pray tell, are we going to do that?" Marco asked, fluttering his eyelashes at Jake, with a high-pitched voice Cassie probably didn't have. Jake shoved him so he fell off the haystack, snickering.

(Easy.) Tobias answered. (We go into destruction mode. Chop up the machines, shatter the screens, and sever the production of the Gleet Biofilters. Straight in and out, no problem.)

"Watch out." Marco told Tobias. "You're starting to sound like Rachel."

(And you were trying to sound like Cassie five seconds ago.) Tobias shot back. (Sounded horrible.)

"Ok." Jake cut in. "Everyone in favor of this?"

"Why do we even bother voting when we know we're going through with it?" Marco questioned. "We're going to do it, I know it."

Rachel laughed. "And don't you love it?"

"Whatever, Xena."

We spent the rest of the discussion figuring out how and when to attack. Jake called it a day when he figured we had gone over all the possible strategies. I felt like strangling Marco for all his hypocrisy and whining. Rachel was right. Idiot boy. He really needed to learn to keep his mouth shut.

Tobias followed Rachel out, after she said her goodbyes, and Ax retired to his scoop. I noticed that Jake stayed behind with Cassie, quietly talking to her, as she finished her chores. I slipped out to give them a bit of privacy. Marco walked out after me, glaring, as he picked up his metal contraption and put a shiny covering on his head. I would've said something not particularly nice to him, but I was too busy staring at the contraption. It had two wheels, one in front, the other behind, and was painted a dark blue. It had handles in the front, and pedals along the side. How strange.

I watched as he pedaled off, wistfully wanting to try myself. Maybe I would. I could suggest it to Rachel or something. What was it called again?

I breathed a sigh of relief once Marco disappeared from view. I was safe. For now. Darwin was safe as well. I had distracted the Animorphs, helped them out, and it wouldn't cost me anything at all. All was right.

"Hey, Madi." Cassie called out. I turned, as she opened the barn doors, and walked out, dusting off her gloves. She walked until she stood next to me, behind her barn, staring up at the sky. It was getting dark, the sky turning a dark blue color in the east, the brighter colors of the sky hidden by the trees. "It's an awfully beautiful night tonight."

I closed my eyes, trying to ignore the faint prickling of trouble in my gut. Cassie was probably going to talk to me about Darwin and whatnot. I had to be prepared. She'd lead me into it. She'd catch me off guard. But she'd definitely bring it up.

"Look." Cassie pointed. "That's the Little Dipper. See?" She traced the sky. I craned my head to see. "Those seven stars make a picture of a box with a sort of line going off of it. You see?"

I couldn't see it. But I _could_ also see it as the stupidest thing I had ever heard. "I see nothing but stars. No picture. You call it the Little Dipper?"

Cassie nodded. "It's a constellation. A picture in the stars. Humans used to look up at the sky and find pictures of things by connecting stars. It's kind of hard to see it, but if you take a few steps to your right, rub your eyes and blink hard...maybe you'll see it. Take it from a human's point of view." I got the feeling she wasn't really talking about the stars.

I snorted, not moving. "_Pictures?_ How strange. Next thing you know, you'll be telling me that humans look up at clouds and try to create images out of those."

There was silence. I looked at her. "You don't really, do you?"

Cassie laughed softly. I liked her laugh. It wasn't harsh. It wasn't fake. It was...Cassie. All Cassie. "I didn't tell Jake about Darwin."

And just like that, I was startled. Even knowing that she'd take me off guard, even as prepared as I was for it, she still surprised me.

She was quiet for a moment, and then said, "You told me about him, remember?"

"I remember!" I snapped, still stung about the fact that I had been stupid enough to tell her.

I was still absorbing her earlier statement. She hadn't told anyone else. Why not? If it were me...a weakness of someone else...I'd tell. I'd use it. So why didn't she?

And then it dawned on me. Because it wasn't me. It was Cassie. And Cassie didn't play that way.

I smirked. How fortunate for me. How lucky, too.

She sighed. "You want to know why I didn't tell, right?"

"It'd be nice to know, yes."

"I figure...it's because you're entitled to your own secrets. Secrets that you should tell us, but you can't. Because it's hard to trust perfect strangers like us. It's hard to trust at all after you've gone through nine years of being a Controller. It's hard just being in this war. And because you're not ready. Not yet. We're strangers to you. We know you, but sometimes I wonder. Do we really know you at all?"

Good question. I didn't know that Cassie thought about these things.

"I don't think we do. We haven't been taking the time to take a couple steps to the right, to rub our eyes and blink hard, and look at the whole thing from your point of view. You're different from us, and if you want to keep that secret, fine. Darwin is really, only your business. Like I said, you're entitled to keep secrets. But secrets get out. So you'll have to tell us...soon. Just not now. When you feel ready. When you feel like you can trust us. Because we don't trust you. And you don't trust us. Not now, anyways."

Well, if that wasn't blunt, I don't know what wasn't.

"But I think you will. I think...you're really good. I think you know what you're doing and you're doing it. This Darwin thing will work out in the end. I trust that you know what to do when the time comes."

But I don't! I wanted to wail. I don't know what I can do if it ever _does_ come down to me versus Darwin. I don't know.

I didn't say that though. Because we're all entitled to our own secrets. And this was my burden to bear. Cassie was pretty smart, considering.

"Jake's around the back of the house." Cassie continued. "He wants to talk to you about some stuff. Just...think about what I said, ok?"

I nodded, and started to move off. But before I did, I looked up, took a couple steps to the right, rubbed my eyes, blinked hard, and took a look from a human's point of view. "Hey, Cassie?"

"Yeah?" She asked, still scanning the sky.

"I see it. The Little Dipper. I think I see it."

She turned and smiled at me. "Great."

I think she knew. I think she knew I wasn't talking about the stars. But something bigger.

**So....next chapter. Talk with Jake. And a bit more. **

**Sorry. This chapter was more dialogue than action. And a bit short, but that's ok. I've got a good part of the next chapter written. No worries. Till next time~**

**wordcrafter: Nice job! I'm kinda trying to slow down the bonding process, because I don't want all of the Animorphs to suddenly go all "best buddies" with Madi. That'd be weird. But good job on picking up on the fact that she bonds with the "loners" first. I thought the pain thing would be something she'd have in common with Tobias. And Madi has an especially soft spot for her brother. When you're completely alone and have no family or hope, you tend to reach out to whoever stretches out a hand to you, be it enemy or friend. And ****Darwin**** happened to be the only family there. I feel bad for her. :( **

**Ember Nickel: Long time, no see! Or hear. But anyways. I actually _liked _the funny parts in ch.13, compared to the others. I was not blessed with the humor in my family, only the angsty and morbidity. *wrinkles nose* So I was happy to hear that other people liked my humor. Cuz it usually sucks so much? lol. Thanks for the review!**

**metamorphstorm: The part with the humans uniting against pain was kinda written by itself. I didn't plan for it, interestingly enough lol. I just knew that Madi would feel great pain and bond with Tobias because of it. Not that I'm complaining, because I'm kinda happy about how it came out. But I've always loved seeing the differences between Yeerk and humans, and this is a good fic to explore that idea. :)**

**voodooqueen126: Marco/Madra? Interesting. I won't say more, but I will say that I've got that planned out. And about the ****Darwin**** thing, and Madi's parents? Issue arises. And the Animorphs aren't exactly happy. You can't blame them, I feel. But that's going to damage Madi. Who I just noticed I've been calling her Madi more than Madra, though that's her birth name. Hmmm. lol. **


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I don't own. **

***hyperventilates* oh, man. I'm dead, aren't I. **

**I know I am an epic FAIL, because the truth is, I had forgotten this story. I know. That is my sad excuse. I bow my head in shame. *bows head in shame***

**So yeah, this is the product of last night's work, when I checked my email in the first time in a long time and found that people had actually favorited and alerted this story, and one even reviewed this story, even though it's been months, literally months, since I updated. Those people are simply made of awesome. **

**Not that the rest of you aren't made of awesome, either! The rest of you have stuck by me for more than just a few chapters, so I thank you too, immensely. **

**...and this is getting longer than I thought and starting to sound like a love letter. So after checking my email, I went back here and found out that, hey, I hadn't updated in a really long time, and that maybe it would be nice if I did start updating again. **

**So I wrote this. Though I had to re-read all fourteen chapters again, cringing at all my sad writing skills. (No, it really does suck. I don't know how you guys lived through it.)**

**So yeah- here is your long-awaited:**

**Chapter Fifteen:**

I walked around until I reached where Jake stood.

He was also looking up at the sky. I snorted. Seemed to me that it was a big human thing to do. Me? I didn't see much to look at up there. Just stars and more stars. And I done looking at stars. Well, more specifically, being forced to look at stars and figuring out how to conquer them.

Jake turned as I got near. "Hey, Madi." He greeted me.

I nodded curtly. "Jake. You had something to say to me?" I felt on edge, tensed up. Cassie had said that Jake didn't know about Darwin. But I wasn't taking any chances. Plus I hadn't talked to Jake as much as Cassie. It was natural that I was more nervous around Jake.

"Yeah." He scratched his head. "Ok, look. I was just wondering about a few things. You know, like how you've been doing so far."

He was stumbling over his words. I eyed him and replied with, "I've been doing well."

"Really?" He asked skeptically. "You sure Marco hasn't been giving you any trouble?"

"Marco gives trouble to us all." I pointed out. "Except maybe Cassie. No, wait, not even that."

Jake grinned faintly, and then his grin faded away. _Was he nervous? _"It's just that…" He twitched. "He was really against you being with us. He was against David, too. But really. He's just looking out for the group."

I twitched. Back to the David thing. I was never going to be free of him, was I? And I didn't even know the boy. "How bad was David?"

Jake's face darkened. "Bad. He was…" He hesitated, struggling with his words. "David wasn't…stupid. He just was scared and lost. And I know he hated us." Jake shrugged. "He tried to kill us. It didn't work, but it nearly did." He made a face. "I'm not that good at explaining this, am I?"

I shrugged. I got the basic gist of it. "I'm not David, though."

"No. You're not." He agreed.

_Finally. _It was like a great burden being lifted off my shoulders. I felt some relief that I wasn't being compared to David anymore. One less problem. At least, according to Jake. Marco's opinion suddenly seemed very trivial. I grinned triumphantly.

"That doesn't mean that we still don't have problems with you." Jake added hurriedly.

My grin faded. "Huh?"

"Madi." His voice grew cold and quiet. His eyes watched my expression carefully. "You don't trust us. You don't tell us things. We know you're keeping things from us. And maybe they're important, maybe they aren't. But the concept still stands. We can't keep secrets in a group like this."

Well, I didn't see why not. I mean, secrets were meant to be kept from others. And some information was not meant to be shared. They'd never understand, but it felt _good_ keeping secrets. We weren't able to keep anything from the Yeerks. They were in our minds, in our buisnesses, and we could never keep anything, no memories, no secret moments, _nothing, _from them. To keep secrets meant keeping _something. _And, for me, that was a good feeling. You don't know what it feels like to have your own mind invaded.

They didn't understand that.

"If we don't trust each other, we go down. If we don't understand each other, _know_ each other, we go down. In a small group like this, we can't have any betrayals. We need to know what everyone is thinking. Otherwise, we go down. And you know what? We can't go down. We've been fighting too long to not go on."

I narrowed my eyes. He was putting it rather frankly. No small talk. _Keep things from us and we have problems. _

"We've been waiting and waiting for the Andalites to come. We've been holding back the Yeerks and we've been fighting little battles. And everyday, we get pushed back a little more. And everyday, we jump at opportunities to kill Yeerks. Believe me, we _know _how to fight and we know how to win. We need to stick together, and fight as a group to hit the Yeerks. We can't not trust each other because then we'll fall apart. And we'll do anything to win this. So we need to know everything we can get. You understand that, right?"

I looked at him. The whole speech made sense, but it also had that air that was not Jake. "Did Cassie tell you to say that, or did you figure it out on your own?"

He looked surprised, and then grimaced. "You're pretty perceptive."

I waited. He wasn't very good at manipulating emotions, was he? This attempt fairly stunk. I was surprised Cassie tried to tell Jake to manipulate me with a stupid speech.

_But, ah, _I told myself. _That's the thing. _Is_ he manipulating you? Or is he completely honest? _I gauged his body motions. He had been tensed up near the beginning of the conversation. Now he was slightly looser.

He finally laughed. "Yeah, I suck at this. Cassie told me to say that. But I'm guessing you already knew that?"

I nodded.

He ran his hand through his hair. "Ok. But here's what she _didn't _tell me to say."

He bent down, kneeling in front of me. He took my hand, so I had to look at him. "See, Madi, I know you know everything I just said. You don't need to hear it, really. But here's what you need to know." He looked me in the eye. "I heard you back in Chapman's office. You froze. I know what it feels like to freeze. I've frozen before, in the middle of snapping out orders. And I froze because my family was in danger. And it was a case of saving the world, or saving one person. The case being that that one person means the world to you."

I didn't breath. And I think Jake knew. He knew like Cassie knew, but unlike Cassie, he didn't learn it from me. He could tell from my silence. He could tell from experience.

And there was the difference.

I remembered how Cassie had said that Jake had a brother, too. I remembered feeling a keen pain for Jake, a boy I barely knew, and then telling Cassie about my brother. I remembered, later, questioning myself, why I had said such a thing. And now, I kind of knew.

Both of us knew how it felt to be torn and scared and lost, unable to deal, and not knowing how everything was going to end up. We were forced to deal with this reality.

We had more in common than I thought.

Suddenly, Jake looked tired and old. "That's- I mean, that's a tough decision." He scratched his head. "It'll influence you. It'll hurt, too. And hurt on top of hurt will add up. You can't deal with all that in the middle of a battle. You'd explode." He looked up at me. Our eyes met.

And then everything changed.

I was in the middle of exhilaration that Jake and I had something in common that no one else on Earth had. Exhilaration came to a grinding halt when I saw something other than leadership and alertness and wariness in Jake's eyes.

Pity.

Jake went on. "I mean, all I could think of was _I should've known this was coming. I should've been prepared for this._ But- how can you prepare for something like this?"

I nodded slowly. "You can't prepare for that." I didn't recognize my voice.

"Yeah," He said, almost to himself. "That's what I told myself. So I kept putting off the whole should-I-or-shouldn't-I thing, not coming to an actual solution until I had to face it."

_Just like me. _

"And when I _did _have to face it, I messed up. Big time. I couldn't think, couldn't do anything because I was too busy trying to decide at that very moment." He shook his head. "So I froze."

_Just like me. _

"And because of that, I almost cost everyone their lives."

_Just like me. _

"In fact, if it wasn't for Marco and Cassie and Tobias, I would've been dead." He gave me a regretful smile. "I was too close to the whole problem. I couldn't see straight." He stood up, brushing off his knees. "And you can't afford not to see straight when you're dealing in a war. It'll get you killed."

I could've killed him on the spot. For a moment, _I _couldn't see straight.

There was an uncomfortable pause, as I looked down, and searched for words to describe how I was feeling. "Jake." I said flatly. "Did you come up with that right now?"

He faltered. "What do you mean?"

My lip curled. "You know." Oh, yes, he knew. You had to admire him. He fooled me, and I'm not easy to fool.

Jake replied just as quietly, "You would've done the same."

I looked back up at him, and his eyes were as flinty as I'm sure mine were. "Doesn't it go against your so-called morals?" My voice was smooth. My insides were shaking.

"I know where the line is drawn."

"I wonder, Jake. _Do _you?"

Jake was smart. He knew I wasn't going to tell them what they wanted to hear. Sure, they could talk and I could listen, but I wouldn't tell. So he tried a different approach.

He used his past experiences with his brother to connect with me. Try to lower my defenses. Tried to see eye-to-eye with me.

The first attempt to make me give in? Nothing more than that: an attempt. Another way to loosen me up. It was supposed to be transparent and see-through. I was supposed to think that he was trying to trick me.

But it served its purpose: to try and make me cocky. Confident. I thought that he was horrible at manipulating emotions, when in reality; he was stringing me along. I didn't think he'd attempt another trick.

And then Jake launched his second trick, which was more subtle and personal and cunning.

A trick within a trick. Clever.

And the crux of it all? _I had believed it. I really, really believed it. _

"Yeah, I do." He stated calmly. "The real question is: do you? Because I know where Rachel's line is. I know where Marco's line and Cassie's line and Tobias's, and even Ax's are. But I don't know yours. I don't even think you know where yours is."

"I do so!" I snarled my voice louder than before, and much angrier. "You don't understand me. You don't know how many battles I've fought in. Maybe just as many as you. Maybe more. The only difference is that we fought in different forms, but that matters not. I _know _war. I know where my lines are drawn and I know what I have to do."

Jake waited until my voice faded away. "You really have no idea."

I gaped openly at him, too stunned to speak.

"You forgot that you're not a Yeerk. Because your lines are the ones the Yeerks live by. We are different from the Yeerks, and until you can remember that, you won't know where your line is."

I was wrong. Believing Jake hadn't been the worst part.

The worst part was that he was right.

I bent my head and stared at Jake's shoes.

Every word was true. Everything he said was honest.

He had manipulated me without lying. (I always lied to get what I wanted.) And he won. (Not just won, totally beaten me into the ground.) And was completely right. (Too often I had been right before, and I was not used to this feeling of defeat.)

I felt sick. Bested by a boy. I had ten times his experience and more viewpoints. I had the minds of easily ten or twenty Yeerks in my head. He had nothing special about him. He was simply human.

But then again, so was I.

I straightened myself to face Jake again, who was patiently waiting for me to speak. "You're pretty perceptive yourself, Jake."

He cracked a smile. "I try."

I think, if I hadn't been so ashamed and tired and beaten down, I would've respected or approved of this boy more. As it was, I could only hate him.

I turned around to go back into the barn, my eyes as hard and glinting as the cold, unforgiving stars in the sky.

**GAAAAAHHHHHHH! That was soooo bad! **

**Please excuse the worst chapter written in Animorph fanfics. I think my brain died halfway while writing this. Bleh. **

**I went back and read the reviews I have gotten, and oh, the guilt. But yeah, I totally deserved it. **

**metamorphstorm: Wow. Thanks so much. Now I feel even more guilty about not writing this earlier. lol. ****But no, seriously, thank you so much for sticking by me. You. Are. Awesome. :)**

**voodooqueen126: The age difference between the two isn't bad. I agree, five/six years is fine. It's just that Madi hasn't...really hit puberty yet. Awkward, much? Oh, and I'm really sorry about the long update. You've been a great reviewer, really. **

**Freakazoid2.0: We're both slackers, now. :) And thank you for the long review, it totally made my day. And here's another test thing for you, though, admittedly, I really didn't plan this out. It kinda just happened. Oh, and thank you for loving my humor, and the part where Madi morphs back. Seriously- you wrote so much, I have a hard time trying to figure out how to tell you how much you rock in as little space as possible! Madi and her parents and her brother is an issue that will come up- oh, she will totally met with her mother, and it will be interesting. *hint, hint* So, in case, I haven't conveyed it to you yet: YOU. ROCK. **

**Caralin942: Ha, you're the one who reviewed after I hadn't written in months and months, and got my butt back in front of the computer Word doc, too. Kudos to you for indirectly helping me to write this chapter out. And thanks so much for the review. **


End file.
